Lived Experience Forum

[Teej]

I’m not the same as everyone else @Faith-and-Hope. I make it harder for everyone around me including you. There is no me unless I’m in crisis and then I’m the biggest drama queen and done deserve any help 

[Teej]

It’s complicated @Faith-and-Hope with my brother. He isn’t working at the moment. But it’s not just that. There’s other stuff in my head. 

[Teej]

It’s getting hard to type @Faith-and-Hope, I think what I’ve taken has done it’s thing. Thank you for putting up with me. I need to go. Speak when human. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

We all feel like that at times @Teej ..... I think you are holding yourself up against a harsh judgement criteria, and I am guessing it comes from harsh parental judgements.

You know at some level that it needs to be moderated, right ? You don’t want your sons beating themselves up the same way, and they will if you don’t take care of yourself. They will blame themselves, no matter how you might try to justify it. It’s what our kids do.

They need you in their lives, their futures, and they need to take care of you too ... ... our love relationships are reciprocal Ike that .... they need to live you, and you need to let them love you, even as you love them back.

But I have also heard you say that one is / has tried to be heavy-handed about looking after your interests. He needs to know that that is not on either .,..

Gently does it Hon.

Hugs from me ..... you are allowed to be special to me, you know ..... ❣️

[Faith-and-Hope]

Not “putting up with” @Teej ..... keeping company.

Go easy on my friend ..... that’s you ...., friend ...... 💜💐

[Faith-and-Hope]

👋💜💐💕 Hi @Teej ...... 🤗

[Teej]

Thank you for last night @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member (and @Former-Member). I had my crazy turned fully on. Today I’m just tired as always happens after a crisis night and self medicating to turn it off. I’m grateful for the support. I don’t know why I can’t work out yet that I’m in a dangerous head space at that point. I guess the part of me who wants to be the good girl is still winning and reaching out when the destructive part is flexing her muscles.

anyway

💜🤗

[Teej]

Ps @Faith-and-Hope you know my crazy is going to be a bit full on over the next few weeks. A 21st and 18 within three weeks and life changin forever. I’m getting more and more worked up over it. The kids are all doing really well on their own and I keep justifying that they don’t need me anymore and my responsibities are about to end. I feel so messed up by all this. I wish I didn’t feel this way. They don’t deserve it. I feel cold and callous about it 😢

[Teej]

Sorry @Faith-and-Hope i left you no where to go with that. 😢😒. Turns out I’m not quite human yet 😣. Please don’t worry. I’ll try to work it out on my own. 💜🤗

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am just heading into an apt @Teej ....., very much with you in spirit ..... keep strong. I will be around a bit later.

Hugz. ❣️