C-PTSD and Childhood Trauma

[Dimity]

My condolences on your impending loss @Till23 , yet another. I trust you can reflect on your years of companionship.

I'm back home with my 18yo cat - I've had him 13 years. He was so pleased and grateful to be reunited after my weeks in hospital. 

I now count a couple of excolleagues among my greatest friends - we have a lot in common. Enjoy your meal. I hope your grief fades, and triggers lessen, and you can relax into this new phase of your life - but we're always ready to support you.

[Till23]

Thanks @Dimity 

I’m sorry you were separated from your cat. Sounds like he’s been a good companion for you.

Also sorry to hear you’ve been in hospital. I hope you are ok now.

I hope my dog’s passing doesn’t trigger me too much. Because it will be a long time, since I’ve had no dogs in the house. Also my Dad lived with me for a while before he passed. So it might feel really empty in the house. It was difficult adjusting to Dad not being here.

 I shall try and make my dog’s last days as comfortable and fun as I can.

[avant-garde]

@Till23 

When I first got out I had a number of funerals... not for people, but for the childhood I never had. 

On my birthday 

Christmas

Easter

Graduations

Some people found it weird that I had a funeral for my birthday, I wanted to grieve my birthday, but it helped so so much, to take time to grieve the events that were never appropriately celebrated

[Till23]

Yes @avant-garde I am going to ask my psychologist to help me grieve for these things. She helped with my Dad and was good with that.

 I think if I can grieve for these things I think it will help me move forward in recovery. I don’t think I’ll ever be a “normal” person, but maybe have a better life that up until now.

How are you going with your grieving processes @avant-garde ? It seems you found it helpful?

[PeppyPatti]

Thanks @TAB Sorry Im not able to feel.

[avant-garde]

@Till23 sorry! I thought I replied to this! 

I think everyone grieves in their own way and it's about finding how you honour them in the life you live now. 

I know funerals helped in the beginning but concreting in my head that it was wrong and needed to be felt, where how I grieve for my little ones is completely different to grieving for my childhood. Does that make sense?

[Till23]

No problem @avant-garde 

Yes I definitely understand that grieving is different for everyone and that there are different types of grief.

 I suppose I have been grieving for my childhood in the past but I did not recognise it as grieving.

Whereas grieving for my Dad when he passed away last year was different. I think in a way partly because other people knew my father had passed and were expecting that I would be grieving. Whereas grieving for childhood etc is something I do completely on my own and it is very much delayed. So I think what you are saying definitely makes sense

[PeppyPatti]

@avant-garde 

I just saw zour poem. 

Thank-you for showing it. Its so beautiful and scary. 

Like as soon as you wake up ....    

🎈🎈🎈🎈❣️❣️❣️❣️

[PeppyPatti]

• Dear @avant-garde 

"Thankyou for showing us a very beautiful part of you. 
What you did with those 'funerals' – for your childhood, your birthdays, Christmases, Easters, and graduations – i sense that you felt the need to grieve those unfulfilled moments. 
It sounds like you've found a way to process 
Do you think, that you are grieving the past times that you may think about bringing new stuff in like 

You are here,

you are an adult. 

Am i on the right track ? 

[PsyAJ_duck16]

Hi, I am new here and would love to join 🙂