Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hello

How long does it take to get over a job loss? I haven't worked most of the year and I still go to bed and think about the day ahead until I remember I don't work anymore 😞

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

Did you want to tell us a bit more about what work was like for you?

Did you enjoy it? Are you looking to get back into the workplace, or is it more that you feel like you don't have anything to do - to plan for.

I know many people get a lot out of hobbies and volunteering.

There's a thread here about hobby therapy and @Denv12 started a more general hobbies thread here if you wanted to read about what others like doing.

@Former-Member started a great thread here about volunteer work.

Hope these are helpful!

Does anyone else have advice or experiences to share with Kirin?

[Former-Member]

Hi @NikNik

I need to get back to work, I need to earn money.

I miss a lot from my old job. I miss the interactions, I miss my colleagues, I miss routine, I miss having security... There are things I don't miss, but I think in general I still grieve over not working where I was. 

I think my biggest issue is that I have lost confidence and being out of work due to illness doesn't help me. It's not like my illness would go away or heal. I have to deal with it and I don't think I will ever be able to do what I did. I don't even know if I ever want to do what I did. I don't know if I chose the wrong direction in my career years ago and am now stuck in a dead end. I am the sole income earner and responsible to look after my family. 

I think it's a good sign that I've actually started thinking about finances and future, as my plan so far was not to have a future, but it's hard to face the facts.I feel like I am letting everyone down.

[Kurra]

Hi @Former-Member
It is a good sign that you've started looking forward and considering your finances and your future.

Have you looked at any of the websites that advertise vacancies and see what types of jobs are available? I found that once I took that first step it helped me to feel more confident about myself and stronger about fighting for a better life for myself. 💕

[Former-Member]

Hi @Kurra

Thanks for your reply. I have been looking at job sites, but just get rejection. I am too specialised. I've started looking out of state and inland for opportunities. I would break my husbands heart if we moved now. I don't know how I would cope with a change either. It just feels all pretty messed up at the moment 😞

[Kurra]

It's understandable that you're feeling lost and messed up at the moment. Sometimes it helps to have one resume that downplays the extent of your experience and qualifications. That's how I bevame a barista @Former-Member.

[Former-Member]

@Kurra

I feel like an utter disappointment and failure so I might just stay with plan A.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Former-Member 

I am too specialised -- what are you specialised in if you don`t mind me asking

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member
I left my job for a year because i was really struggling with mh and unwell. It felt so awful and i was so focussed on getting back to work that i probably didnt use my time well enough to get stronger in self care and things like that. I set some unrealistic standards for myself at times...
I remember feeling kind of like a failure every day that i wasnt working, which really wasnt true (i can say that now!) and i dont think i ever 'got over it' while i wasnt working. But going back to work was also terrifying.
Do you have some support like counselling or psychologist that can help you plan for what you want to do in the future? I dont think its ever too late to change what you're doing and finding something that you feel interested in is important too. I'm glad that you are feeling like there is a future and you're starting (even though its scary) to think about what it is possible.

[Shaz51]

hello @Former-Member, how are you tonight , sorry you are feeling confused , we are here for you if you like to talk