Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

I dont know what to do i am really scared i dont even know who will read this and i am sorry for posting this but i am really lost right now. i honestly dont know what to do i am so scared because i am sure someone is trying to poison me and well that is the demons are they go into other peoples bodies and make them do things and they are making people put poison in my food and water and i am so scared i dont know what to do anymore i cant take this even my doctors and treatment team are trying to hurt me no where is safe i dont even know if here is safe but i am desperate i want to scream but they are listening they are always listening and watching and i cant get away they keep asking me to do things sometimes very bad things....... i need to get out of here but there is only one way to do that ugh i cant take this. i dont know what to do. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Eden1919,

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so scared and unsafe. You can trust us here and you never have to apologise for posting.

I have to head to bed now as I have to get up in a few hours, but I wonder if there is a @Former-Member around that might be able to help?

We’re here for you @Eden1919. We want you to be safe.

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member I hope you have a good sleep.

I really dont know what to do i cant my head wont stop and everything is so intense and i am trying so hard but i just i dont feel right i need to get out of here it is not safe anywhere and i just i dont know everything is confusing and i dont know who to trust even my family i am scared of like what if it is them too how do i know ugh i want to scream and i cant and i dont feel good i have ruined everything. 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Eden1919. I don’t really sleep, but I have to drive to 2-3 hours (depending on traffic) to the city first thing in the morning, so I should try to sleep … or at least spend some time horizontal.

It can be really hard to trust people—especially when our head isn’t being kind to us—but it’s also really hard to face things on our own. Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith and trust one person. Who do you feel closest to in your family? Or a friend or health professional? Who has helped you most in the past?

Sometimes when I feel totally overwhelmed and can’t concentrate on anything, I just find a small task I can do to keep my hands busy. Sometimes I crochet, or make paper origami stars, or just doodle on a piece of paper. Anything little thing, just so I am focused on something something external, something other than the thoughts rushing through my head. Is there something like that you can try tonight?

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member I dont know if there is anything i can do the demons are everywhere and they wont leave me alone and i dont know who to trust at all i feel like no one is safe not even my own thoughts because they can get into my head and i just um i cant there is just to much going on and they really really want me to do something for them soon and i dont know if i can hold off because they wont leave me alone and i cant um i just cant do this i am really agitated and i um there is just too much. 

[marchhare]

Hi Eden1919, i am sorry you are feeling so upset tonight. Have you looked at the safety plan that has been given to you? It might help you get through tonight. Take care

[Eden1919]

@marchhare yes i have looked at it but it is not helping tonight nothing seems to be working.

[marchhare]

I am sorry to hear that about your safety plan. It might be helpful to ring Lifeline or some other service where you can talk to someone. That can help when our mind is racing or being our enemy.Just talking and listening can help our racing thoughts

[Eden1919]

@marchhare I already did i dont know what to do now. 

[marchhare]

i think just try and get through the night. Perhaps try and do some relaxation or mindfullness exercises to slow your thoughts down and re-visit your safety plan. Hopefully that may help