Lived Experience Forum

[Sehnsucht]

Having a surreal moment.

The tinnitus in my ears (ongoing nuisance for many years now), is high and loud. But a friend put a battery in out clock this week, and that too is loud. The rain is loud. And I feel quiet.

I often listen in to my tinnitus when tired of intrusive thoughts and asking for a break. Other times it is incredibly irritating and all-engulfing, like when I miss actual silence. Like when I watch my partner roll over and just, fall asleep. Like, that!

Does anyone else find white noise sometimes bliss, sometimes fuel added to fire?

[supernova]

Hi @Sehnsucht

That's so interesting that the experience of those sounds changes so much for you. I always prefer silence over noise, except maybe the ocean or the sound of heavy rain... 

Do you ever notice your moods change your experince of sound? I wonder whether white noise is annoying when there's lots of other things going on in your head?

Wonder if any other sonically-minded souls have any thoughts on this? @Kurra@Appleblossom@Former-Member@Mazarita@Jacques?

supernova.

[Jacques]

Hi @Sehnsucht,

I love the name, i have German heritage, anyway back ot the subject at hand, i too get ringing in the ears, sometimes i find it is comforting and sometimes it is really irritating, i think it depends on my mood and what is going through my head, i find all noises very loud, i jump a lot, i am so nervious all the time, i also find light irritates my eyes, i have to wear sun glasses most of the time, i even find i can't have any lights on in the house too, i just walk around in the dark.

To try to sleep of a night, i get really anxious so i have downloaded an app to get background noise, just oceans, rain and wind. i find it helps sooth me enough to get a few hours sleep here and their.

You are not alone with this, i have the same things. most of the times my thoughs are so loud, nothing helps. 😞

take care, be kind to yourself

Jacques

[Bonny]

I have been experiencing tinitus for the past two weeks at first It would just not shut up. I felt like I would go insane. Especially at night when all other noise ceased and it was time for sleep or I would wake in the middle of the night when the sound in my head became overbearing.

I am gradually becoming accustomed to it. Maybe one day I will find solace.

Bonny.

[Sehnsucht]

@Jacques,

I never was directed to, or even considered white noise apps, until my partner and I had babies. With our second, we tried ALL the white noise apps. She grew out of her colic thankfully, especially as the white noise never worked on her but worked on me haha! I particularly liked one that was the sound of the cabin in an airplane.

Finding all noises loud in general comes with the territory of tinnitus sufferers, I am told. I'm not sure about moods influencing the tinnitus or how deeply sound is surrounding me. But the more tinnitus the more noisy everything in general gets, and the more irritated I get. Irritation is a quick trigger for overwhelment fight/flight for me. Before kids and commitments I would take off into the night and run, walk it off. I miss that!

Being tired is clearly a trigger, as is pressure changes, and my own blood pressure.

I am not sure if I've always had tinnitus to varying degrees. I assosciate the sound with hunger or fatigue, or light-headedness. I have memories as a child, lying in bed, calling upon this 'light-headedness' and making the room spin. In a pleasant way. Like lifting off and floating. Every now and then as an adult I can do this. I never considered this hallucinating until the schizophrenia awareness week forums not long ago.

Are there others that have 'control' of some such things? As in able to call upon it, then fade it away?

@Bonny,

My tinnitus has been prominent for a decade at least, I always just presumed it caused by noisy work environments, and shrugged it off. Turns out my hearing is fine, good news.
It got unbearable when pregnant, so actually maybe anxiety does make sensitivities to noise worse? Or blood pressure fluctuation. Who knows!! But I think it was most irritating and overbearing because I hadn't yet had it looked at, and knew not what was the cause, if something was wrong, being tired and overwhelemed in general at the time made having the energy to laugh at paranoid thoughts difficult. Worrying over it or 'listening in' to it definitely makes it louder, in experience. And from my experience, yes, over time due to its constant presence it does fade to background and is 'listened' to less. So fingers crossed for you! It really is overwhelming and irritating though. I have a tendency to lash out at my head when fight/flighty so add an annoying noise IN your head that IS real and ....I really felt like ripping it off many a time!

Hugs to all! Thanks for conversation, interesting and relieving that this is another thing I am not alone in, and am relatable with. X