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@Jynx It's strange... As an adoptee, I've recently started digging into the effects it had on many, many adoptees and how it relates to my own issues. Adoptees have always been told to "be grateful", "you were chosen", "you were a baby, so it shouldn't affect you"... etc etc. Our feelings about not fitting in or belonging, not knowing who we are, attachment/bonding issues, and more were always dismissed so many of us hid them. These days there seems to be much more understanding on the trauma that many adoptees live with throughout their lives and the impact it has.
I never thought of it as trauma until recently, I always blamed myself... I was weak, unlovable, just to scared to trust people, broken in some way, and not feeling like I belonged anywhere or close to my adoptive family was all because of these faults. Learning what I have this year about it and talking to a lot of other adoptees, it's become clear a lot of us suffer from the same trauma and continue to struggle to deal with it throughout our lives. Learning about trauma responses and how to work with them has helped me a lot, but it is all still there inside my head. Just a little easier to find some control over it now. And since joining here and talking to people, it seems that so many of us have similar issues stemming from early childhood trauma. Even if it is something seemingly benign such as being an adoptee or having parents who were emotionally unsupportive or distant. It just 'programs' us in a way that is very hard to change!
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