Today has been torture, Ive not been able to take my pain meds much as I had a doctors appt around midday and I had to drive myself. Then off to community mental health and that took longer than expected then I had a big meeting for my sister, I attended on phone and then off to pharmacy to actually get the pain killers from the earlier doctors appointment. So, hardly anything pain killer wise to avoid the drowsyness but a fair bit of pain in its place.

This meeting for my sister was a big deal, it was all about getting her support when she gets home. But a lot of the meeting surrrounded around Mum. Mum is a big reason she is in the situation she is in. The whole buy swap sell thing Ive spoken about earlier is a massive factor but just the general treatment of her by Mum is a lot too. 

I knew that Mum and Dad fight or at least Mum would have goes at Dad on a pretty regular basis but it came up a bit more whats happpening, Mum is full on abusing him. I feel bad for him because I didnt realise to the extent the abuse was going on, Dad's sort of alluded to stuff before but not the detail he did today. 

With the Buy Swap Sell stuff I stopped doing it years ago. At the time I caught a lot of flak from my Mum but also my sister and Dad. They werent happy as they just saw it as more work for them. But in the meeting Dad said that they had talked later on and decided I was doing the right thing. They never told me and I always thought they held a grudge all this time, its a nice feeling that they did and do actually see that I was doing the right thing. 

This was reiterated in the meeting by those running it that my decisions have been correct. I dont take her food down, if I do its a frozen meal and she can heat it not me (she has a microwave in her room). Basically anything I think she is capable of doing I leave to her,  Im not running after her. sister and Dad do. I just got off the phone and Mum has sent him a shopping list, fine, but then he goes on to say that it looks like he's cooking tonight. He's had a big day and she can have frozen meal, he doesnt have to cook.

I think its sad that my sister/family have to deal with my Mum, who believes she has done nothing wrong, before she can really start to work on her own issues, the issues behind and due to Mum. The issues of assult when she was younger, there are so many issues to be addressed and she has to wait to deal with Mum and what she is doing. Seriously a 64 year old should be able to see what she is doing to her daughter and family. If she cant maybe she needs to go get help but Mum refuses to because she doesnt believe there is anything wrong with her. 

Dysfunctional is one word to describe our family. Im happy that some of what I have done/said was correct but sad that my sister and Dad couldnt follow suit. Im sure I am at blame for some of my sisters situation, I mean Im human and I make errors and if they need to be addressed Ill take that. Dads the same, hes blaming himself quite a bit but I think the mother in his ear is playing a big role there.