Hi @NatureLover  I think it was much the same for me.. wanting to have some control over a small part of my life initially when I was quite young and had no idea what to do with the anxiety I was feeling all the time.  Having my little part of the bedroom "just so" and my few belongings kept pristine made me feel safe somehow. Of course it grew from there as things like this do..

When I was 10 my older sister married and in preparation for when she would have children came to visit and she and my mother cleaned out my toys because they were in such good condition so I came home to having zero toys only my clothes and bed. I dared to ask why only to be told that 10 is too old for toys, end of discussion.  I think I stopped trying to be the good girl after that because I realised it didn't matter what I did right I was always wrong. I'd been wrong since birth and always would be. I developed hoarding tendencies for a quite a while. Mother called me defiant after that because I'd just stand there and take whatever she said to me or whatever she did to me without saying a word.  I lived in my head and I could keep all my bits and pieces sorted and clean.  I used to dream of being rescued but of course mother always got to everyone and told them what a horrible child I was and she was such a lovely lady they all believed her and I looked every part the sulky brat.  I think or at least hope that teachers and social workers these days are better equipped to recognise the early signs of mental illness in children.  Sorry for the long rant.