Lived Experience Forum

[Bluedog65]

G'day first time here and not really experienced at this.  So I'm 57, unable to work due to physical and mental health issues. I live on a very small superannuation pension and receive no help from Centrelink. After 2 years of living like this I'm feeling totally useless. My physical problems are getting worse and I just found out I can't even give blood due to very high iron levels. I really have nothing to contribute to the world any more and can't afford to go to doctor. Basically I'm stuffed.  Thinking why bother. 

[Bluedog65]

Answering my own question. DON'T. All cool 😎. 

[Jynx]

Hey @Bluedog65 welcome to the forums. Glad to have you with us 😁 

I will link you the Forums Tips & Tricks post to help you find your feet here. 

I'm sorry to hear how rough things are for you. It's horrible that you can't get enough support from services that are meant to be there for that very thing. Sounds like you've got some ongoing health stuff too which always complicates things. Are you on NDIS? Could be something to explore. 

Sounds like you want to find some meaning and purpose. What sort of things are you most passionate about? 

[Bluedog65]

Thanks for the reply. NDIS knocked me back,  didn't meet criteria,  not that I know what that is. Same as Centrelink. Medically Retirement from Public Service but not enough for Centrelink. They say nothing wrong with me because my medical certificates said same thing for over 3 months. Apparently degenerative bone disease means nothing unless you get $500 worth of tests to prove degeneration every 3 months. Like my life, a joke. Just on a downer. Thinking of all the abuse,  physical, mental and sexual I received when kid. 47 years ago, reckon I'd be over it, but keeps coming up in my head.  Sorry just,  I don't know what.  My brain,  what's left, stuffed.  Short term memory shot. Can't distinguish between yesterday and last year. My mind is buggered, my body is degenerating and ugly ain't going to good looking. I'm just existing, not living, again I ask why bother. 

[Jynx]

@Bluedog65 a truly awful set of circumstances to be in, and then basically to get any support, you'd have to jump through a bunch of very expensive hoops. That's really rough. I'm so sorry that you're stuck like this. I wish I had answers for you, but for tonight perhaps just acknowledgement and a virtual hug. You deserve better.

[Bluedog65]

I'm passionate about movies. Especially horror. And author Red, Women murder club, alex cross series. Can't think of his name but my brain is chunky custard so not unexpected. But don't think this forum is for me.  I'm to far gone for help. Cheers 🍻 

[Dimity]

Sounds like James Patterson books @Bluedog65 . 

Don't give up on the forums too quickly. 

I retired early too...  wasn't coping physically or mentally.  Still sorting myself out. 

Hope you can get a low income health care card, might improve your chances of finding a bulk billing doctor.

[Bluedog65]

Yes Dimity James Paterson. Only read about 40 of his books but chunky custard brain mush. No such thing as bulk billing in Queanbeyan even with pension card. Had my 6 "free" psychologist appointments and then he retired. Mental health assistance in Queanbeyan pretty much non existent. You get sent to Chisholm Ross for 2 to 3 weeks,  then have to pay for train back to Queanbeyan,  then 2 to 3 appointments at community Mental Health and apparently you are cured 😆. Mental health support sucks in NSW but it's 200% better than ACT. However to both Dimity and Jynx thank you both for caring. Unfortunately as an extremely very unattractive man, with no money,  an INTP personality and whose claim to fame is a dvd collection of over 2500, I really see no hope. Don't worry I am not suicidal. After 20 plus attempts I know that ain't going to happen. Just venting, just wanting to talk and see if anyone wanted to listen. I do have a lot of conversations  with myself but they don't go very well. Usually end in permanent scars or trip to hospital. Such as life, to sleep purchase to dream, to suffer the slings and arrows of outrages fortune ,ah that's the rub. Custard brain quotes. Thank you both.

[Dimity]

You are more than welcome to vent @Bluedog65 and there's usually someone to listen, although sometimes there's a delay depending on who's logged on and when.

My weakness has been books and cds  rather than DVDs. 

I think my MBTI was similar but I didn't trust it as I left half the questions unanswered.  I don't do meaningless dichotomies of adjectives and qualities. But I think I was Judging. Enneagrams I haven't investigated in detail but think I'm a 5. 

Sounds tough re mh care in Queanbeyan. Maybe you could try your luck with a new mhcp and new psychologist? You deserve support, we all do.

By the way, if you prefix usernames with @ it generates a hyperlink and notification to the person you're replying to. 

I'm about to turn in but maybe we'll meet again. I'd be happy to see you around the forums, and maybe continue the conversation. 

Best wishes 

Dimity