Lived Experience Forum

[Angels333]

Hey @Maggie , yes, sometimes I wonder if I'm just an attention seeker.   But it's such a compulsion that I never want people to know about.

The shame is full on at times, I feel so embarrassed.      

I'm so sorry that you have been through it all and I really appreciate your support.

Love Angels333 

[Angels333]

Hey @Owlunar Thanks for the Tuesday pic.     Fluffy cats always cheer me up.

I lived in Cairns for about 2 years when I was 8.    We had a boat and we would sail out to Green island and snorkel all day, we used to go fishing.  They were magical memories.   

I hope you have a wonderful time, will you take the train up to the Kuranda markets?   

I'm  feeling a bit better about my Aunty, It might be the reason for this episode of SH.

I really want to get better but I am suspecting that the meds I'm on just aren't working well enough..

Oh well today I see my Psychiatrist I am really hoping he can do something about my depression.   He's usually really good, I know he'll suggest hospital but that's too expensive as I can't afford the time off work. 

[Maggie]

@Angels333  I think today is your psych appointment. Fingers crossed you get the help you deserve. By the way, I don’t think you are attention seeking at all, it’s something  people throw at us to shock I think, that’s the only sense I ever came up with anyway. 😛 Will be thinking of you. 😍

@Jhaneylena  Hi there, hope today is good, or good in parts to you. 💜

@Owlunar  Nice to know you landed safely and eventually found your phone. Feet up and plenty of sun. Take care. 💕💜☕️

[Angels333]

Good afternoon @Maggie @Owlunar @Jhaneylena @Zoe7 @Shaz51 

Self Harm is a real problem for me atm.     So my Psychiatrist is changing my antipsychotic, I'm really hoping this works as I'm at a hopeless situation 

[Owlunar]

Hi @Angels333 

I am glad you are seeing your psychiatrist - I hope it goes really well for you

I know from experience that grief is a terrible emotion and one we can't avoid at times - I do wish there was something I could say that would help but I also know from experience that there isn't. The only way from it is through it - I am so sorry you are feeling this - it's a terribly hard time for you - for anyone - 

I don't know what to say about the self-harm - maybe a change of medication would help - I have an idea about what kind of medication you are taking - it used to make me feel really drowsy and not think much at all - maybe that's a good place to be when someone you loved and loved you has passed on - hurting yourself only has a moment of relief and then it will come back - I wish you weren't feeling like this

But for what it's worth I care about you and I would do anything possible to support you through this - the best I can say - it does pass - it takes it's time to go through - that's probably the hard part - it's time - time we have to live through to get through to the other side.

Sending my best Tuesday thoughts again - I love fluffy cats too

I see you

And I am enjoying Cairns - you must know it well - and here's another fluffy cat

I'm thinking of you Angel

Dec

[Angels333]

@Owlunar @Maggie @Zoe7 @Jhaneylena @Shaz51 self harm is still a problem.   It's doing my head in.

I've really made no progress, I'm sure my psychologist is sick of me.

[Maggie]

@Angels333  It took years before I saw progress. That’s not meant as a discouragement we are all different. Sometimes the underlying reason/reasons  takes time to be uncovered/revealed. I often think my counsellor is sick of me too, but it’s in my head not her’s, could that be the same for you?

Its such a hard subject to dance around, because you can’t write what seems to come to mind, just what you hope gets through the post.

If it’s helpful at all, you are not alone, though I do know it feels exactly like that. Dropping off lots of these 💜💕💜💕💜 and some of these ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️

[Jhaneylena]

@Angels333 hey sunshine. Still walking heavy footed. Isn’t the mind a tricky one. Forever fighting on one side or the other. A tug of war. This makes it so hard to recover or release , heal , let go and move on. When that is all you want. peace. Stillness. You just can’t understand why or grasp it. And your slowly sinking into the sandpit of despair. I wish I could heal your wounds your scars. let you know peace. it’s our own inner struggle. your not alone. your not a burden nor an attention seeker. you just want all the misery to end.

You as a survivor , deserve this. ❤️

[Shaz51]

@Angels333  sending you lots of hugs my friend

[Angels333]

@Shaz51 @Jhaneylena @Maggie 

Still no change in my mood.   It all feels useless.

I'm anxious waiting for results from my Psychiatrist so he can introduce a new medication,  here goes another antipsychotic......

Thanks all for your support and kind words and encouragement it means so much to me at the moment. 

Angels333