New Psychologist

[Ed1975]

Hi all,

I have an appointment with a new psychologist tomorrow to look at starting EMDR for my CPTSD.

I'm struggling today. I feel really sick and anxious about it. Until recently I have never had to tell my story to any strangers but since seeking help it's like I've had to share it with every man and their dog (gp, clinician, psychiatrist, 1st psychologist), and now I'll have to do it all over again F2F. I think that's why I'm feeling so down today. I was happy to share my story on here recently knowing I'm anonymous, but sharing it with someone F2F is different. I just find it hard to trust anyone and always feel I'm being judged by them, after all, they're only human.

The financial cost over the next couple of years is really playing on my mind too. If therapy doesn't work, it'd be all for nothing.

[Sparky79]

Hi @Ed1975 welcome to the forum,

If you're handy on the computer maybe type it up and print it out.

I've done that a few times as due to my CPTSD I'll stutter and stall and can't get word out, so I'll hand them what I've typed.

Typing it out is a good way to make sure you get the full story out and don't miss things.

Also trust is a massive thing! but give them a chance , you'll know if they're the right fit for you. My biggest concern is when I walk out of the room into reception and I'm paranoid the people waiting can hear everything I've been talking about. Apologies if I've just added that to you as well.

Stay strong and don't be afraid to reach out

[snowflake231]

How did the appointment go? 

[Sparky79]

@snowflake231 good question! @Ed1975 I hope it went well

[Ed1975]

@snowflake231 @Sparky79 

It was very stressful but I feel that it was good. I shared quite a bit about my childhood. Psychologist recommended starting exercises immediately as she recognised deep trauma and we did some tapping exercises while thinking of a stressful memory. She wants to address these trauma's now rather than wait. The last psychologist never did one exercise in 4 appointments. 

It was supposed to be a F2F appointment 2hrs drive away, but I was feeling so anxious and nauseous I had to change it to a telehealth appointment 3hrs beforehand. 

My hope is for these trauma's to not control and influence me any longer. Still a long way to go, but after today I feel a little more optimistic. 

[Sparky79]

@Ed1975 Hat's off to you for having the strength and courage to see it through, and good on you for making the changes to the appointment so it was a bit easier for you.

Be proud of yourself for achieving what you did today!

[snowflake231]

Sounds positive. Well done.