How to look in to this and should I be concerned?

[MrConcerned]

This is a difficult one and I'm here as not really sure what to do (and even if I should).

We have neighbours across the road who are, I think, in their mid-late 50's.  They very much keep themselves to themselves. The lady has had issues with neighbours behind them and to the side but the details we are not really aware of and it is stuff very much in the past, we believe.  They interact with society in that they use a gardening company to cut their grass and keep the garden tidy.  He is often away from home (Army) and I believe the lady works from home a lot.

I work from home 100% and my 'office' window looks out over the road between us.  Over the few months (possibly up to a year - I'm not sure), I - and my wife/daughter - have noticed the lady laughing and pointing a lot.  When she arrives home in her car and also when leaving.  Also we hear her often in her house/garage.  Often it is real 'belly wobble' laughter, not just tittering.  It is not constant.  Often we notice when she is leaving and for the 10's of minutes when she arrives home and has closed the garage.

We are not 'nosey' and/or in-your-face neighbours.  We get on with our side and rear neighbours and generally the neighbourhood.  We're friendly and helpful folk, but like to think we're not overbearing etc, and we dont really want to chat to other neighbours about it as that would be perhaps unfair and possibly interpreted as 'gossip'.  What our neighbours do in the privacy of the own homes has nothing to do with us - that is our 'philosophy' so to speak...

However, our concern is that she drives.  And we sometimes see her drive off while still in 'fits' of laughter.  Should we be concerned?  We are assuming that she is maybe on some medication (wrongly, but just between ourselves, we may say 'she has overdone the meds again').  Could any members here maybe shine a little light on this?  Should we be concerned?  Could she really be a danger to other road users (our only concern)?  Any suggestions how - if indeed we should - to broach this?  Or should we just butt out and 'mind our own business'.

[rav3n]

hey @MrConcerned, thanks for sharing and what a interesting observation! there could be many reasons to explain the laughter, perhaps she's got an air pod/wireless earphone in and she's laughing at something she's hearing (i made the mistake of assuming someone was hallucinating when in fact, they had tiny wireless earphones in...) or perhaps it's a tic? perhaps it's something we both haven't guessed at yet? 

i can see why you'd be worried, they are possible reasons too but it's hard making those assumptions when you don't personally know them. has her driving while laughing appeared unsafe? (i.e. speeding, not driving within the lines, etc?)

would you be open to chatting with the neighbour? engaging in gentle curiousity and getting to know them might help with gaining some more understanding around what's going on?

[MrConcerned]

> there could be many reasons to explain the laughter, perhaps she's got an air pod/wireless earphone in and she's laughing at something she's hearing
100%!  That is what we assumed to begin with..  We often have a laugh that 30 years ago if you saw someone chattering to themselves while out walking then they could be ... (dunno the PC way of putting it! lol).  Nowadays they are probably on the phone! lol

> has her driving while laughing appeared unsafe? (i.e. speeding, not driving within the lines, etc?)
That, the million dollar question, we dont know.  I thought she 'staggered' slightly when getting in her car today (which triggered this post) and laughing/pointing but we have not 'monitored' her that closely (again, that could be seen as 'intrusive' or 'nosey'? This is why it is difficult, she could take real offence if she thought we were 'watching her'; which is a fair enough response! lol).  Hmmm, yeah, maybe we should kinda watch her driving a bit to see...  It just feels wrong (I'd not like it the other way round...).

>  you be open to chatting with the neighbour? engaging in gentle curiousity and getting to know them might help with gaining some more understanding around what's going on?
They do like to keep themselves to themselves.  My wife has tried to strike up a conversation with them but they kinda 'shoo' her away in a 'im busy' sort of way.  Not nasty or anything, but more in a 'shy' or 'reserved' way (and not dismissing that she/they just dont like us! We think we are 'nice' but would be a bit up ourselves to assume everyone likes us!)

Hmmm, yeah, that is probably what it comes down to.  Rather than talking about them 'behind her back' here (the 'easy option' lol), maybe I should try and do a friendly 'hi!' and have a go at wandering over to chat again.  I guess I was hoping the quick fix of this forum saying 'Ah yeah, she will be on med xyz and while it can cause laughter and 'pointing' it is totally safe as she'll still have full awareness etc for driving'.

[rav3n]

@MrConcerned haha yep, it's so hard to tell with the way technology is nowadays!

it sounds like her driving has been fine so far, but i do get that it's hard to let go of the worry that one day, the driving might pose a risk if there is something serious going on. 

haha i'm sorry to disappoint! unfortunately the forums can't provide any medical advice, and it really is tricky to tell if her behaviour is a side-effect to medication when we don't know her well. side-effects vary person to person! there is a side effect called pseudobulbar affect (PBA) where due to neurological impacts, the person will have short burst of uncontrollable laughter or crying. depending on the severity, some people with PBA may or may not be able to drive. again, we can't know for sure that your neighbour has this. so far, it seems like their laughing fits were a bit confronting but they might be managing okay?

[BecauseI]

Hi there @MrConcerned 

Is she causing harm to anyone? She might be talking to her husband. You mentioned that he is in the army.

Is her happiness threatening anyone.

Ive seen far worse driving - such as applying make up or talking on the phone.

Please refer to the last line of your post and just be a good neighbour.