Lived Experience Forum

[wildchild3]

I have been in Australia for 21 years, hatched in South Africa. I have an amazing job as a Practice Nurse Coordinator and it took me over a year to feel accepted but it happened thanks to my amazing boss support. My feelings are still not settled as I still feel anger at the way I had been treated. I am also drinking too much and go to bed really late yet am up and ready for my job each morning as I work full time. I lost some weight after all the angst at work and feel worried all the time. My car was keyed, someone at work sent my husband a letter that I was having an affair with The Principal and a needle was planted to get me into trouble. Fortunately I was strong enough with the help of The Principal to get through it all.He investigated all and then placed new protocol at my work place to enable all this malice to cease and it did somewhat.

Now I know the obviously answers.. get over it, cease drinking and enjoy this new freedom and I cannot do that. I still cannot gain weigh, resent my husbands controlling nature as he is retired and just spends all the dollars I make to service his car and he is always on my case when I need to work late. Being of a mature age, I am hating this with such venom so I am always angry to the point of wanting to just go away. I fortunately am not suicidal, but the thoughts do enter every now and then but the love for my job and I talk to myself a lot, plus listen to great music.. takes those thoughts away. I just hate feeling angry all the time I suppose and truly try relaxation times, deep breathing etc etc. Take care and thanks for reading my lamentations xx

[Powderfinger]

@wildchild3 I can't help much as I'm sick but have you considered asking your books for some work counselling? I worked in the industry and did some counselling that was available to staff at the hospital. Especially since this is a work matter. I feel you need to talk about what happened and other life issues. I hope it gets better soon for you. 

[jem80]

@wildchild3 

I can only imagine the trauma you have dealt with when some has tried to destroy your career and relationships.

It's ok to be angry and grieving from what you have been through.

Have you considered seeing a doctor to help you gradually reduce your drinking and to figure out why are not gaining weight and to seek some additional supports like a mental health professional to help you with the traumatic experiences that you have gone through.

If you need additional supports you can call Lifeline on 131114.

[frog]

Hi @wildchild3

Welcome to the forum

You have had a really hard time and your anger sounds completely justified.

It sounds like it may take a while to get to a more manageable level.

I get the just want to go away feeling, and it sounds like you are taking some good, concrete steps in cultivating relaxation. I walk when I'm really wound up.

If you do want to talk to a Psychologist to work through some anger, and maybe grief, over how you have been treated, it might be worth checking in with your GP whether you qualify for some Medicare supported sessions.

Feel free to vent here Worry-Room-Get-it-out-and-walk-away-No-responses-please 

Take care.

[Tortoiseshell]

Hey @wildchild3 what happened at your work sounds so distressing. You've shown amazing resilience to get through that. I'm glad you have reached out for some support with what you are going through now, there's a lot of wisdom and connection here 🌻

How are you travelling today?