Lived Experience Forum

[Rose_222]

I canceled my psychologist appointment today, probably when I need it most. All I want to do is sleep, why does my bed feel like the only safe place I have? I ventured onto my landing with my coffee this morning, I love listening to the magpies warbling and the wind in the trees but as soon as I heard a foreign noise, I ran inside. What am I afraid of? I used to embrace all the strange and wonderful things of the world, how did I lose myself? And now, everything seems so hard, just thinking about participating makes me tired. 

[Powderfinger]

@Rose_222 

I can't tell you what is right and wrong to do. Next time you go and see your psychologist, I feel that what you have said here, you can tell her if you want to. Your psychologist may be able to help you work through these things. Sometimes, we cannot figure things out on our own. Wishing you a better day tomorrow. 

[CrazyChick]

Hi Rose,

It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed by things at the moment. When I am feeling overwhelmed, my senses become more sensitive; with sounds seeming louder, smells stronger, & lights brighter. I want to hide in a dark comfortable place like in my bed, under a thick doona (even if it is too hot).

Talking with a psychologist can be challenging. They can want you to talk about things that make you feel uncomfortable, or challenge the way you think about things. I would guess that you felt you weren't up to challenging conversations, or perhaps any conversation at all. I have had some psychologists who have understood when I am overwhelmed and am wanting lighthearted conversation rather than more challenging topics. But some don't adjust to what you need, and try to push through with challenging conversation. I guess you didn't feel up to talking, especially if you thought it might be challenging. If it was face-to-face, getting there and being around other people may also have been issues. I hope you have been able to reschedule it soon.

Meanwhile - look after yourself. Do what soothes you. Curl up in bed & sleep for a bit. Then take small steps of things that soothe you - a drink, a bite to eat, a shower, somethings you enjoy doing. Be gentle on yourself & don't worry about the things that are too much to handle at the moment.

[Peonies]

Hi @Rose_222 , 

I am sorry to hear how hard things are for you at the moment. It is difficult to do anything, let alone talking to someone when we are tired. However, please know that you don't have to go through these feelings alone.  

Besides the forums, do you think it would be helpful to chat with someone about your feelings via web-chat instead? If you feel up to it, I would recommend you to contact the SANE Help Centre. We have fantastic counsellors who will listen and work with you through challenging times. They are available on web-chat or phone. 

[Mathew76]

If there is any help going do take it. Maybe ask for a telehealth appointment. Reschedule and fight to get yourself in there. One always feels better if one can do it. Sometimes one has to fight for help. 

[Rosalie]

Hi Rose

in these uncertain times it is often difficult to feel safe but I think it was a step for you to go outside and that you took in the here and noe by hearing the birds and natural sounds even for a short while. Maybe tomorrow you will stay longer. Small baby steps will take you far. I try not to venture too much into the why but try to forgive myself and accept this is how things are for now but not forever.

i too cancelled my psychiatrist appointments. Social distance consultations just weren’t working for me but now I feel more lonely than ever. I told him I was doing ok and will get back if I am not coping. Already I can’t sleep because of all my thoughts in my head. So I have come here. Hope you do something extra tomorrow Rose just one thing a day will make you feel like you are moving forward. X

[Maggie]

@Mathew76  Welcome to the forums.