Stuck

[StuckInARut]

As a man I feel like I am not allowed to show pain or emotions. I constantly feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders but there's nothing I can do about it. I was raised with a emotion is weakness outlook on life so I really struggle when I do get low. Not suicidal or anything like that. I have too much to live for. Just feel like I have no 1 to talk to. If there is any1 able to relate I'd be glad to talk to someone. And if I make some friends that wouldn't be a bad thing either.

[Gremlin24]

@StuckInARut hello and welcome. I'm sorry that you have been made to feel that way. Any human is allowed to show emotions regardless of their gender, showing emotions is not a weakness but rather a strength in acknowledging how you feel and accepting that it's OK to feel that way. 

You are not alone here and we are here to support you however we can. If you want to chat I'm more than happy to 😊 

[StuckInARut]

Hey thanks for that.

But in today's society is it not seen by most people that a man is supposed to be strong, never break, never be hurt? 

I have tried talking in the past only to be told to toughen up. I don't have the patience for therapy, tried it before and just end up angry and I don't like that.

My wife doesn't understand. And I have nobody else in my life. 

Unfortunately as I recently moved to Australia I have no friends and don't have the means of making any.

I work on a farm so I can talk to cows. On my time off I spend it with my kids and wife.

I smile to hide my thoughts.

[Gremlin24]

@StuckInARut society very much used to be that way but I feel things have gotten a bit better. I understand not everyone may be so understanding and people still believe that men are supposed to strong and never break. 

Therapy can come in many forms and perhaps what you tried previously wasn't for you. But therapy isn't for everyone so if it's not for you then that's ok. 

I'm sorry that your wife doesn't understand you, and not having friends can make things hard feeling so isolated. 

I'm glad you have found the forums and I hope you can get support here so you don't feel so alone. 

Cows or any animal are great listeners and they don't judge you at least. 

I laugh otherwise I'll cry so I get you. 

@MJG017 

[StuckInARut]

I no how it goes. I force myself to make jokes so I can laugh. And talking to cows is great except they don't respond much which then enhances the feeling of being alone. If I don't laugh I end up with my thoughts again. Back down the rabbit hole. 

I don't no. Maybe I just need to let it go. Put a smile on my face so my family can be happy. Teach my kids how to be strong.

I exist for my family not myself. Maybe I'm being selfish. I  carry not only mine but all of their burdens too. 

[Gremlin24]

@StuckInARut it can be a vicious cycle, the second you stop the thoughts come rushing back. Whilst putting on a smile and pretending everything is ok may help in the short term, in the long run if there's issues they are always going to show themselves and things may end up worse. 

I don't think you are being selfish at all, raising a family is hard work. You need to find that balance of looking after yourself and your needs and also caring for your family and supporting them. 

Teach your kids that it's ok to feel emotions, kids also learn from seeing their parents experience emotions. 

Take it easy on yourself.