Lived Experience Forum

[Gazza75]

@BryanaCamp, had a busy day at work yesterday and no chance to respond untill today.  That's not like me at all.  I'm not worried about the brother to much, I can't change how he behaves and is doing things.  It's a bit strange because usually he's the responsible one and thinking of others.  He ticked me off with something he did yesterday.

I've been trying to move on with things, but, i do find it diffucult.  Feel like my life has been ruined and I'm never going to be the same again.  My phsyical problems (weight) are effecting Me a lot. I am going to have to diet harder and ramp up the cardio significantly and hope for the best.

I managed to get up early alright.  Had trouble getting to sleep last night thinking about above and disgruntled at how things have transpired for Me.  You will get used to the early starts after a few weeks.  You are doing an amazing job learning 2 new jobs at once, most of us struggle enough dealing with 1!  You are a star Bryana.  I'm sure your like a sponge and you will retain the information you need to.  Your definitely one of the smartest and most compassionate people on here.  

I got my friends Instagram details.  I'm not on there yet so will have to register and try and keep in contact with her occasionally there.  Facebook is a handy medium for keeping up with whats happening with people.  The coffee situation is still the same at work, not the best at my main office.  

Hopefully your getting through the day with a little less coffee!  I might get in trouble for saying that here!  Take care and thanks for your thoughtful and kind words as always. Take care. 

[Gazza75]

Hi @LadyleahRDBloom , doing well here thanks for the shoutout.  I hope your studies in your retail course are going well.  I think you would be a terrific addition and asset to any company.  Try and stay positive like you are.  I do know just how tough it can be.  I saw your recomending chili coffee, did you make that yourself or get it from a cafe?  I'm not even brave enough to try the choc let alone the coffee.  I'll have to see if I can find it to try.  Take care 

[Gazza75]

Hi @Owlunar , hope you have touched down safely and having an amazing time so far on your holidays.  Look forward to hearing about your adventures.  Thinking of you, esp this week.  Take care.

[BlueBay]

Hi everyone 😊

had a mirning ciffee out eith daughter znd granddaughter. She even had a baby chino. So cute. 

[Former-Member]

Perhaps I should say we have "French press" coffee as it sounds a bit more upmarket than plunger coffee. 

[BryanaCamp]

hi @Gazza75 sorry to hear you had a rough night. You have been through a lot, faced adversities that not many people know let alone cope with so know that you're unusually strong and resilient. You've done an amazing job of recovering from traumatic events and a hospital stay and are very high functioning and have a winning personality. I'm sure that slowly, slowly you can build the life you'd like to have but I know how hard that battle can be, with MI symptoms pulling you down & sideways and the side effects of meds are a brutal pill to 'have' to swallow each day. It adds insult to injury to have to accept metabolic changes on top of a MI. But you're doing an awesome job, improving your mental & physical health, going to the gym & walking, working full time, eating well, looking after your family & farm, all without much help from people irl. Know that you are doing amazing, are progressing & are so valued here & in real life.

Well done on getting your colleague's instagram, that will be lovely to keep in touch. I'm sure she'll be missing you & will be sad too as you have a cool personality & would be cool to work with and she would look up to you as a mentor who taught her stuff she'll carry on with into her future. Maybe she'll infect you with the travel bug with holiday shots!

Thanks for your message, it was great to read, cheered me up. I know you're very busy so don't feel pressured to reply. My brain is at maximum info-overload! Today training is finally finished & I have my first, real, trial shift so may have cake & coffee before hand just to give me some energy to focus! My friend who is distancing herself from me sent me 2 not very nice messages on facebook, they really stung so I've decided to unfollow her & just leave it alone, not extend any more invites & spend time with other people. I need to try to stay positive.

Yeah, brothers can be tough, there is so much history & they can do annoying things. It's complicated but he will be there later on when you feel up to dealing with him. that's the thing about family, they are always there over time.

I have done little walks but not much. And choccy has been a must in the evenings! Will try very hard to hike this weekend. Good luck with walking today, I'm sure you can do it.

Take care, hope you start to feel a little bit stronger today and hopefully the day will go quick & you can get some proper sleep tonight, hugs for any harsh thoughts in your mind

[Gazza75]

@BryanaCamp, thanks for being understanding, particularly about the metabolic changes and the pill swallowing.  Just have to try and keep things in perspective and hope I am travelling in the right direction.  I'm a bit worried that I might be going through some withdrawls from meds, I didn't expect anything this soon.  I'm only at week 2 and I thought I'd be ok for 4 or 5 weeks at least.  Might be coincidence.

I hope I can keep in touch with my friend as we were pretty close work buddies for a good while. Out of everyone at work, she was probably the person I was closest to.  You might be right about the travel bug as well 🙂

I'm sure your cake and coffee will stand in you good stead for your first proper shift.  I think you willl do fine, often the training is a bit harder than the actual role as your taking in everything whereas on the job it probably won't be quite so hectic.  It sounds like you are in a supportive and positive environment as well.   Regardless, I think you have done super amazing to get through as you have.  I'm sorry about your negative friend, I think you are doing the right thing especially at this point in time.  You have given her a chance of coming round.  

Your right about the brother and time.  He at least has a lot of that on his hands now and has done for some time.  I think that is probably hard for him to accept, now more so because he is officially retired and out of work.

It's good you have been getting little walks in, its better than nothing.  I've been sticking to doing at least 2 or 3 a day.  The weather has been really nice so its a pretty easy excuse to get out for a while.  What kind of chocolate do you like?  I like pretty much anythng except the really dark chocolate.  

I'm sure you wlll get a nice hike in on the weekend.  It will be good after a hectic week at work and all your travels.  The day is going pretty quickly so far, fingers crossed yours is as well.  Your kind words help me focus and stay strong so thankyou.  Not sure about the sleeping, so much sport on TV right now 🙂

Take care Bryana

[BryanaCamp]

Morning @Gazza75 thanks for your message, I always enjoy them & feel better for reading them. Hmm, withdrawals do not sound nice, bit scary. Are you noticing persistent changes to your thoughts/mood or is it more physical? Maybe it is coincidence but good to keep an eye on. You have had a loss (your friend leaving) so it's natural to feel low & a bit empty, I guess the main thing is that it doens't become a big, downward spiral and everything doesn't start getting very negatively distorted, catastrophising doesn't engulf your mind & refuse to shift. I'm sure your walks and any gym work you can manage will bolster you against all of that - so they say. Good to keep an eye on it all though.

I'm sure you're making some progress with your fitness, even if your muscles don't yet look more developed to you, I'm sure they are it's just hard to see day to day. Plus your heart health will be benefitting. The weight itself, well I'm sure in time that will change as your muscles will get stronger & burn up food more quickly. I'm still in denial about my weight gain & elevated cholesterol med side effects. I just bought a skirt for work & it's too small but I thought, "I'll lose the weight" but my efforts to lose weight ain't moving. I've tried to cut out animal fats but then I love choccy so not very productive there either. It's very hard to accept metabolic changes when I've never had to deal with that before in my life before meds. Hopefully research will improve & they'll have new meds that don't cause metabolic issues in the future! I LOVE all kindsa choccy - white, milk, dark, super dark, anything! Having milk choc & hazlenut and dark choc & almond atm.

You're totally right about work. My actual first shift was fine & much easier than training. All my colleagues were really supportive & the customers were nice. I was a bit nervous before starting but I knew all my friends at the forum were supporting me & that helped me feel strong. I've got an arvo shift today which I'm looking forward to then it's the weekend!

Your friend sounds special, it makes such a huge difference to the working day to have cool company, someone you can joke with & feel is a kindred spirit. It seems important for you to continue contact, keep the friendship going. If you haven't already, maybe make it a goal to set up your instagram account? Maybe a goal for the wekend? (Just a suggestion, don't wanna be pushy.)

It's sad about your bro. That's a bit grim facing disability & retirement, there would be a lot of time to fill and a lot of time for the mind to potentially wander to sad and dark places. It must be hard for you to know that & there be limits to what you can actually do & influence, sometimes I want to shake some sense into my brother but just have to wait.

Take care today, don't work too hard. I hope you feel a bit better and a bit sronger today, you're doing an awesome job juggling lots of different plates & responsibilities and you are progressing every day, don't forget that. Thanks for your support & wisdom, it's even better than a coffee! sending you happy vibes, enjoy your walks 

[Gazza75]

Good Morning @BryanaCamp ,

With the withdrawls, I just feel funny, like my mind and thinking is more negative than usual.  I can't seem to shake ot off for very long.  I'll just have to keep at it.  Going to the gym and walking helps.  I've had to push myself to get to gym lately, normally it's not big deal and more of a routine for Me.  I haven't been doing my normal workouts lately.  

Thanks for positive thoughts around my fttness, I have to keep it in mind.  It's hard when I just want to see some improvement in weight ,but, its not happening.  On a positive note the scales at the gym seem to be broken so I won't have to worry about that for a while.  We are in the same boat in regard to metabolic changes, i've not had to deal with it before, I never thought it would be so significant.  How can such little pills make such a big difference LOL 🙂

I'm glad I was right about work.  I have extensive experience in libraries!  It's great your colleagues are lovely and supportive, its seems that is a pre-requisite to be a librarian.  If you get a bad customer now and then, don't let that phase you.  Certainly don't take it personally, its there issues and not yours.  I can't recall anyone ever kicking up a stink at a library to be honest.  The only bedlam I have seen or heard is when the kids start singing with great gusto.

An arvo shift sounds good.  Do you prefer those over the early starts?  I read on the other thread your going out for some dinners over the weekend, reckon you deserve some treats after your busy few weeks.  I hope you have a wonderful time.  You definitely have the support of all of us here, probably a lot more than  you realise.  

I will setup an instagram account over the weekend or soon.  It will be worth it to keep up with my friends adventures.  

It's definitely sad about my brother, but, I've got to accept that it's up to him to come to terms with everything.  He knows I will do anything to help him.  I worry about the level of care and support he is getting.  He won't complain, but, to Me it hasn't been what it should be.  

Your words are better than a coffee 2.  We both might get in trouble for saying that LOL.  I always feel encouraged by your positivity and kindness, not just to Me, but, to everyone that you support on here.  Have a good morning and really great day at work.  I think each day will go a little smoother and easier as you get used to the role and gain more confidence in it.  

Thanks for the happy vibes and enjoy your walk if you can get one in today.  Certainly enjoy your hikes and fresh air over the weekend!  Take care Bryana.

[Former-Member]