Coming to terms with reality

[Appleblossom]

Hope you dont me saying hello and dropping in @eudemonism I was enjoying your conversation with @Friendconnect and @Former-Member

I like much of your way of thinking. Maybe it is similar to the way I think.  I have heard that it can be difficult to come off the depot medication but perhaps if you can search around for a mh worker pdoc, case manager, social workeretc who would support you to transition on to oral meds.  It could be a plan. Maybe a new psychologist on a mental health plan.  They probably need to get to know you first, but if you are reasonably stable  ... its worth a shot ...

Just a picture I like ... community of musos ... a bit comic ...

[Friendconnect]

Hi @eudemonism... the thing about people who care for others is that they find it impossible to imagine that there could be a way of thinking where all someone cares about is themselves.

These are two completely different ways of approaching life. The first set of people sometimes referred to as empaths usually get burned out of over giving to others... that's their normal nature and they almost forget to think about themselves. They need a lesson in self-love.
On the other hand, people who think only about themselves are full of self-love and sometimes not even able to give back even a tiny amount of love/care to others. However, this doesn't make them wrong or bad people as long as they are not yet trying to harm anyone.

When people from these two categories are in a relationship ... as family or friends the empathy struggles badly due to unmet expectations. What do you think is the solution to this situation??

The only way to make this work is to nullify your expectations. Relationships are our training grounds... the less caring people are actually teaching you importance of Self-love.

You are enough for yourself.... to feel happy and content all that's needed is to find and live your truth.

Yes once you are happy... then you should start relating to others... not in order to make them happy or attain happiness through them.But sharing your individual happiness and love with each other.

It's then important to keep working on maintaining your happiness even through the relationships. Noone but we ourselves owe the happiness and love to us.

We need to stop looking at others as our means to attain happiness. No person... however good or bad can make us happy That's one thing we need to take ownership for.

Have a chat with yourself by journalling etc.. dig deeper and see what makes you happy .. not to impress anyone but yourself.

What are the things that you'd want to do if you're not having the meds side effects. Take small steps towards those things... while saving your energy
trying to think about others my mistakes.

We need to take 100 percent responsibility for our lives and happiness.

[eudemonism]

@Friendconnect self love comes from love from others. Love from others comes from. Having something someone needs. Having something someone needs. Is usually derived from finances. It's a complicated situation. When you don't have something anyone needs. Or its a case of who needs who more at the time. Can you see how someone could fall through the cracks?

@Former-Member Yea. A long as your getting some quality out of life. And you have what you need. There's a myriad of support options for whatever you're dealing with in life. And usually there's always something the individual can do for themselves. I'm thinking about my cycle of addict I'm stuck in. Wake up. Hit the cigarettes and coffee. And from time to time. Drink alcohol and use other stuff. I think I'll have to... Get rid of alcohol and other stuff... And then get rid of the coffee and cigarettes... It's like I'm looking for that quick action which distracts me from my issues.

[Former-Member]

good morning @eudemonism

I understand what you are saying about the cycle....

is not easy to break...

sometimes it takes several or many attempts....then boom you are ready to give up...

giving up alcohol and other stuff would be the best to start with...

top priority other stuff....

whatever and whenever you do stop...keep a journal of daily symptoms...

you can still initally cut back on coffee and cigarettes not good for your heart...

I think that you are halfway there already...you know that all of these things are not good for you...that they stop you doing what you really want to do...they are definitely intertwined with the cycle and the conversations you have in your mind...

don't stop everything at once though if you have been taking these things for a while...

slowly slowly...pace yourself...

I stopped coffee all together for a couple of months and am back to no more than two a day...in the morning...as caffeine is a stimulant and my metabolism reacts very quickly to caffeine...I have trouble sleeping..

enjoy your day 

[Friendconnect]

@eudemonism... Let me try to rephrase a bit. We all have this idea of how love looks like and this illusion that we need others to provide us love/care....
until the illusion somehow breaks when we're tired of trying to find someone who can love us the way we want.

Do you see the problem here... that ideal love exists only as a concept within our mind and everyone holds different degrees and shades of it. When you form a relationship with someone... what you get is the other person's concept of love instead of yours.
It's not their fault as they are experiencing the same thing from your side. So... I don't see it as anyone's fault but plain mis-communication.

It's heart breaking as it almost always falls short of what we expected. It's true for all relationships and by love I don't really mean the love we "make" but the love we "feel".

Is there a solution? Well since only you know what you're looking for... take full responsibility of what you accepted in the first place hoping for a perfect relationship. And if it falls short of anything... it's for you to learn what you missed out on and without putting any blame on the other person.. just explain yourself and move on. Accept that you've made a mistake and not them. But be true to yourself.. that always state what you feel in clear terms without fear or guilt.

Leaving even small things unsaid can tend to complicate the situation. For example... you're assuming that love in a relationship depends on finances.. which is so not the case.
Move on from people who have put these conditions... you deserve better.

A true relationship that would really exist and survive when you don't NEED each other .. for finances/material things or because you're afraid of being single... but still want to be together.
We end up mixing our wants with Love. Love doesn't want anything from the other.. it just IS there.

You might ask why would anyone form a relationship if there are no needs?
for Love... 😊

That's why you need to provide yourself whatever you need first... have enough just for yourself... know what and how much you need... work on your fears and weaknesses and insecurities.

Once all that self work is done.. what you'll look in others is only Love... not to fulfill any of your needs or out of fear.

Could you imagine any reason such a relationship might fail?

[eudemonism]

It's all rubbish and pollution... I'm sorry but it's just not how I see it and not how I believe it works and definitely not how I know it functions...

If I took finances out of any relationship. Could you see how quickly it would fail? It's as

[eudemonism]

That... It's just how the world and society works... And it's toxic...

As for addictions... It's not a case of not being able to withdraw to give up or being worried about ever seeing the drugs again. It's a case of humans have addictive natures. Humans have needs. It's not a case of supply demand for its a case of supply the addictive substance abuse to the humans who have an addictive nature.

[eudemonism]

Money is a means if controlling people. It's that simple...

[eudemonism]

The more you need love. The more you need money. The more you need money. The more you are controlled. The more you are controlled. The more controlling of other people you will do. It is all so you can attain the love you seek and the love you need. It's as simple as that. And it is sad.

[eudemonism]

I'll be so glad and so filled with joy and happiness when my life is over and done with and I am on my death bed and nearing passing on into a state of death in that moment I'll be making a point of telling society what I really think