not feeling good

[Zoe7]

It sounds like you have every reason to be annoyed @BlueBay You are doing everything you can to help out your situation and he is dismissing what you have done - so frustrating Hon 

You can't do anymore than you are so give yourself credit for what you have done - it is important to acknowledge that to yourself even if he is not for you.

[BlueBay]

Well maybe I should tell him to do it himself. 

Niw he is angry that the filing cabinet is nit to his stdndard. 

I’m trying very hard to block my ears. 

I just can’t win. I rang my doctor and told him I’m always in the wrong and I’m stopping my meds. I’m angry. He urged me to keep taking my meds and he will see me on Thursday. 

Ok I need to stop and breathe. 

@Zoe7@Appleblossom@Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51

[Zoe7]

Yes stop and breathe Hon - you have done a great job today and if hubby can't see or acknowledge that then that is his issue not yours @BlueBay

[Shaz51]

Yes stop and breathe my sister @BlueBay and keep taking your meds xoxo

[Shaz51]

@BlueBay 

[Appleblossom]

I think he needs a course in appreciation.

@BlueBay Self Care Self respect.

[BlueBay]

@Appleblossom@Shaz51@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@outlander 

im so sngry tonight. Disappearing is a good way to show hubby exactly how he is. 

He snd my older son had a disagreement and thdn hubby turns around snd says”oh well I’m nit saying anything snymire. I get more communication at work”.  So he csnt handle a opinion he csnt take it when my son answers back. 

He is niw sitting on the lounge nit talking yo me or our son. 

Im wanting to going away. I’m going now. I’m going to grab the keys and disappear. The thoughts are very strong. 

Im angry at my abuser my brother and it’s time I self harm to show others how I feel. 

Ive changed my will a few weeks ago. So that’s sll done. 

Supposed to see my doctor first thing tomorrow morning. Might not go. See what he thinks. 

I sm done eith all this crap of talking about my brother my abuse my mum my mentsl illness. I csnt do this snymire. 

[Zoe7]

You are self-sabotaging again Hon - and as hard as it is - you are the only one you are hurting by being angry at everything @BlueBay

There are some things you can't change but the ways you deal with those things can.

Ignore you hubby back - don't answer to his petulant - he is acting like a child so treat him like one - and that is don't give his disregard for everyone else in the house any air time. Just do what you need to do tonight to get through.

If you don't see you doctor tomorrow then you are exhibiting the behaviour that you often find difficult to deal with in others - that they dont care. Your doctor cares and that relationship to you is important - don't abandon that just because you feel like you need to be heard in this way BB - you can be heard by turning up too. 

When you get like this it is often all or nothing - but there is a middle ground. That is to stay where you are, ignore your husband's childish behaviour and do something nice for yourself - running away will only make things worse BB 

[BlueBay]

Well I’m nit saying one word to him tonight 

he’s asleep on the couch 

ok I will def go snd see my doctor 

he’s the best he understands me like you sll do 

ok I’ll stsy here tonight 

I’m sorry @Zoe7 i get do sngry thst I csnt think dnd thdn I want to disappear self harm etc etc 

im crying this is hard it’s painful 

im so bloody sngry 

[outlander]

@BlueBay 💙 💛