Hi @Brenno079, welcome to the forum.
I was in a similar position when I was close to your age. I didn't have any kids, but I had spent all of my life pretty much alone wondering what the point was or a lot of it. I met my now partner when I was 43, which was my first relationship. So i know things can change for the better, even after so long when things feel like they will never change.
I think it takes a lot of strength and adaptability to just pack up, move, and try to start again in somewhere new. So maybe try to lean into these strengths and try to make some positive changes. They don't have to be huge, but just small things that you feel will start to move you towards happiness in life. For me personally, a big change was to start to see myself differently, to be kinder to myself. It sounds pointless and such a small thing to do, but I found it changed how I interacted with people quite a bit. I no longer saw my position as just to do what I could to please the other person. Which I know now, if I had to do that I was wasting my own time.
It can just take some small changes like this to have significant affects on our lives. I've asked my self a lot of time "why bother?" and the answer has changed over the years. It usually falls somewhere between "if I don't care, no one else will" to "because i deserve it!". One thing I am sure of is that you're not alone in this and it's not any sort of failure on your part. We all have things happen in our lives and things we struggle with. Some people ignore them and spend their lives frustrated, other people try to figure it out and change things, even if it takes a lot of time. Part of my own real changes was joining here and starting to share my own struggles. So i see it as you've reached out here, which is a good start and an indication you're not in that 1st group.
