Losing a loved one to suicide

[Roses9]

It’s been seven years since I lost my partner to suicide, I was 17 at the time. I have done councillors, medication unwillingly I might add, all the self help tips you could think of. 

People seem to think it’s not real love when you’re that young. It was. I’ve never looked at another man the way I saw him. He was my love. And I lost my love. My beautiful man who had his whole life ahead of him: and why?? 

My question every day is why? I knew he was sad but I couldn’t fix it. Now I’m sadder than he ever was but I couldn’t do it to my family. 

Seven years and I’m still the same. 

[Surfbird]

I'm sorry roses9 

what a dreadful thing to happen to you and so young, I'm not sure how I can be helpful but wanted to commiserate, my mother in law committed suicide last year, it was such a tragedy and she was elderly, I can't imagine how awful that was, so young, poor man, don't blame yourself, this seems to be the natural reaction of those who love their lost ones. I know this is easier said than done but it certainly is true that is not your fault. 

Best wishes roses 

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Roses9

Sorry to hear you had that experience during adolescence.  They are formative years regarding relationships. He sounds as if he had many good qualities but could not cope with his challenges in life. I still grieve for my brother and sister.

I know how hard it is to recover from, but all our stories are different.  People often feel confused and defensive about suicide.  Bottom line: it is extra complicated grief when the person is young and it is a sudden death AND you LOVE them.

I hope over time it gets easier.  It is important that you realise you do not want to put your family through it, even though the grief is terrible, and they may not be supportive enough for you.

I hope the forum helps.

Gently Bently

[Former-Member]

Try see it as a disease and not an act of choice