Lived Experience Forum

[TAB]

Perhaps nail something on for sheet to sit on then nail it @Zoe7 ?

[Zoe7]

I seem to be taking longer in the day to get going again as well @Appleblossom but I really need to begin to push myself a bit more too before school goes back. Getting back into that routine for me will be a huge thing to do. It hasn't heled that the pool is only open for a couple of hours earlier in the morning as I have missed those sessions as well.

I started cleaning up the garage a bit but it is very hot in there with the new roof so need to do a little at a time and can rest in the cool of inside in between. 

How are things going with the separation in your house Apple?

[Zoe7]

Good suggestion @TAB  The sheets are pretty big so will still need help holding them to keep them straight. Might head to the shop soon while the garage cools down a bit with the door open.

[TAB]

Put a clamp on top of sheet @Zoe7 take it easy

[Appleblossom]

Nothing rehashed but brief household meeting, floor vacced, a meal cooked and 2 nights of sharing a little screen time.  When he can get into the right head space. He tries.

He tries far more than his father ever did. His father made a mockery of too many things.

 

@Zoe7  Thanks

I am thinking I probably will not get much better. That this is my GOOD.  I am sleeping most nights without all the fear and anxiety re nights that I had when I first kjoined the forum.

I am not complaining, as I had a day at zoo, thrilling rehearsals, and starting a new brief but great project mentoring at a music camp.

But if I leave the house too quickly without letting my head settle, I am too scatty.  My head is not functioning properly and probably am not the best on the road.  Working out MY necessary rest levels for best quality of life.

Hope you have a good day.  Animals do teach us a lot, especially about naps.

Have a good one Zoe.

[Zoe7]

I can get a clamp on one side but not the other but that might hold it enough to lift it up @TAB and keep straight. Toby wants to supervise but it is too hot for him today - must be about 10 degrees warmer in the garage so definitely in the high 30s in there - need to be careful neither he nor I get overheated - plenty of water put for Toby though and some more cooling in the fridge for me.

[Zoe7]

Often we need those extra rests to be able to do the things we enjoy but sometimes the motivation is nt there either. It becomes a fine balance sometimes between getting ourselves moving and wasting the day away. I am getting better at knowing when I need to rest though and when I need to kick myself in the butt and get moving @Appleblossom.

You have things that you like to do such as the zoo and your singing so those are things that you can get motivated to do. 

I know things are still difficult at home but you seem to have it sorted for what you can deal with at the moment. I do wish it was much better for you though - you certainly deserve it. It is good you are sleeping most nights - sleep is so important to us functioning at even a reasonable level. Take your time when you need to get your hesd 'right' - sometimes we all need to do that in order to get on with our day the best way possible.

[TAB]

Perhaps wait for your sister then @Zoe7 anyway back to work here 😬 work is not for cats 😸 I need a new career

[Appleblossom]

I do not usually have problems with motivation. I am good at finding things to do paid or otherwise, and paid work boundaries have been as tricky as family relationship boundaries.  Ie Company Bookkeeping etc for 8 years and home studio teaching for 25, plus lots various community work and physical house renos.  It became as important for me to get out of the house/family home as that was the work site.  When home and work are so intertwined there are different assumptions re work life balances ...

@Zoe7  realised I answered your "separation" question with togetherness activities.  I feel I should womansplain.   With older kids, if they are stuck in negative rut/rebellion re daily activities they are more likely to remain "dependent".  That is why I see those basic acts as a big plus.  Not so much that I need them, though it is lovely. It has been too rare to come close to filling role of partner. I did a lot of psychosocial theory before I met kid's dad.  It is interesting it has become mainstream. I have always been fairly aware of differences in parental and partner roles. I could have gotten a partner for my own needs, it was for my son's needs that I decided to remain single.  We already had extended step family with older girls issues and as he had a dad, complicating things more did not seem wise.  My son's best route to leaving the nest will be feeling confident in his abilty to handle the daily stuff without too much stress ...

As a mature woman with serious ongoing physical chronic pain,  I am slow to learn my activity levels without neurotic striving. Its been hard yakka figuring out all the non standard but life&death issues in my family. Some mums never get an education, but I did, and it helped, gradually more and more are, as the world slowly changes.

[Zoe7]

Part of the separation of the house is your son being more independent then @Appleblossom That does make sense but doing some things together keeps that communication going as well.