Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

Goodnight @Shaz51 - sleep well my sister 

[MDT]

Thoughts are with you @Sam3

[Former-Member]

Sorry you losing your job Sam3, bummer!! Really hope you get a little holiday between jobs. Do look after yourself xox

[Sam3]

Thanks heaps @MDT @Zoe7@Shaz51@Former-Member . I didn’t sleep much (if at all) last night & consequently have a headache, but I got through the work day ok. In my lunch break, I called an employment agency. Spoke to an authentic, empathetic guy (with the same name as one of my sons!) who upon receiving my CV stated “we will definitely find you something”. His first thought was to try to identify which company outbid my current one & explore whether they might employ me at the same workplace which is minutes from my front door (well in his words it’s a “long shot”). @Former-Member I’ll probably need to do same role in aged care for another employer, but if I want more pressure I could try other roles in disability or occupational rehab... and I would want MORE pressure because...?! @Former-Member you’re right that I wasn’t keen on the repetitive nature of this role in aged care facilities & also that you’re typically required to use a very narrow range of skills. @MDT have you submitted your job application? Does it drive you mad that the ads often lack information about salary?! @TAB how is your physical health & how many days cigarette-free are you now? 

[Appleblossom]

@Zoe7 

So glad about your chemist milestone.  It is big as when we spend a lot of time alone, we are not always our best support, but you have turned the corner.

YAY.

 @Sam3

Sorry about job news.  Hope a better job is there for you without too much struggle.

@Former-Member @MDT @Shaz51 @TAB

[Sam3]

Thanks @Former-Member. I know we shouldn’t look backwards but I feel frustrated because I feel I’ve inadvertently brought about my own mental health & employment decline. This whole thing started after my parents’ deaths & occurred due to me trying to return to my husband’s interstate hometown. The reasoning was that my kids’ education would be better & easier there (it would have been a return to the city where half of them were born, & to where all my husband’s friends are). I wasn’t keen to return there for myself.  We only came to this country town to spend time with my parents (a wise idea, because 5 years later they were diagnosed with terminal cancers). So I left a permanent academic position here for a maternity position interstate but then didn’t ever actually move (started the new academic position here before the shift but discovered that a lot of the curriculum had NOT been written as indicated & the job was huge in a tight timeframe & subsequently got anxious & resigned NB Eldest child REALLY didn’t want to go having just started high school; cried with distress when told we were leaving & cried with relief when told the change of plan). Anyway, what followed was 4 years of stress & uncertainty re employment & closely correlated depression & anxiety at times. Last year it was a milestone to get what I thought was a permanent job.   I wish I could let the past go but I can’t think of a way to make it ok - any ideas? 

[TAB]

Hi @Sam3 sorry re job, I have rarely had anything other than casual work, so 13 days notice wouldnt be that bad for me. Its usually no work, punitive and arbitrary measures by bad employers who pay badly, have bad management and blame workers for everything while expecting everything and giving nothing. I often leave due to thinking Ive been treated unreasonably. When work and jobs were better id leave because depressed, which I have also been specificially and knowingly been sacked for before.

Anyway. yes am sort of ok physically. I slept most of today because couldnt sleep last night. I got a call today after 1 person who seems bothered if i get work rang and asked my if i was busy. Id had a weeks work over 3 weeks in the last 6 if that makes sense. I had decided i was never working for them again and was leaving town. Now i have to try and get through working for them again. Not really much option, well after they offered me work. Well have been offered a months work over next 2 months. See how it goes, and with the smoking. Its 10th Day today  

Sorry for going on

[TAB]

Hi @Appleblossom

[Former-Member]

@Sam3, "letting go of the past" - yes, that's hard, I struggle myself (says I as I sit staring at the clock at 3am rehashing the events of yesterday, with tears and depression brain links it in to 1,000 similar memories way back...), yep, its hard, its what brains do (think, think, think). Sounds like you've had a full / complex life, having made big sacrifices for your children, your parents, your husband, your family...  So go easy on yourself... "THE DECISIONS YOU MADE WERE RIGHT AT THE TIME GIVEN THE INFORMATION YOU HAD BEFORE YOU" (talkin' to myself here as one thing with depression is blaming yourself for everything & beating yourself up, and focusing on those opinions of others in your life who come at you with it from the outside...), oh dear, when will we learn to not take onon so much... to stop doing it to ourselves... people can u st carry their own a bit more - you focus on what's best for your future too, someone's got to 🙂

Hang in there!

It helps me to try take a break from rolling toughts a few times a day,  to really absorb present moment realities, with gratitude, no judgement, taking in peace with each deep breaths. It kinda resets the brain, replenishes and reassures the soul.  When I remember to "be kind to ourself" that is. 

One day at a time.

You'll get there xox

Hi @Zoe7 @TAB @Appleblossom

Thanks for the tags 🙂

[Sam3]

Thanks a lot @Former-Member - your reflections are really grounding (but sorry things are tough for you & sleep is evading you). I’ve done quite a few mindfulness courses but appreciate you reminding me of its value alongside the power of gratitude. I don’t work Fridays (well actually in 2 weeks time I’ll potentially be unemployed!) so will spend part of today on the job hunt. Youngest child is on a sleepover this morning so might try to do something with some of the kids this arvo. Good morning all ... Any plans for the day for @Zoe7@TAB@Appleblossom@MDT ? @Zoe7 are you waiting to be allocated a school for term 1 & will you be full time or part time? Are you out there & ok @Sans911 ? Thanks for sharing @TAB & good on you re stopping the cigarettes & accepting some casual work despite disliking that organisation- you’re clearly a pragmatist!