Advice.

[Former-Member]

Has anyone ever had any positive experience with completely pushing away bad memories? Not seeing a coubsellor at all, just pushing them away instead of talking about them?

[jazz]

Hi there I am moderator here, and in my experience bad memories often come up and dont go away on there own. It is worth seeing a counsellor. I am sure you can call the number on this site and ask for one. Has anyone else had any experiences like this?

[Kurra]

Hi @Former-Member and @jazz
I've had considerable success with Thought Stopping for this type of problem. Although the long term effectiveness of thought stopping is a contentious issue I have found it to have been successful even long term. In fact some thoughts appear to have been completely obliterated. I can consciously think about these things now and not experience any distress nor resumption of these thoughts.

Google thought stopping and give it a go. Make sure you read the articles that view thought stopping negatively as well so that you can make an informed decision.

Take care. Hugzzz 💕 🎶

[LooneyToones]

Does anyone have experience with recurring dreams about a specific thing/person but unsure whether the events actually occurred? Has counselling helped or hindered? I've always thought it could do more harm than good.

[Appleblossom]

Perhaps the different level of harm or insult of the memory/dream/thought to the sufferer, is the main point. We all react differently and have different tolerances.

Often if they are just pushed away they resurface as they are a sign something needs to be done about it .. which is why counselling is a good idea.

Dont go into counselling blindly .. if you are concerned .. do your own homework .. but a therapist is worth trying .. a stitich in time saves nine.

[LooneyToones]

@Appleblossom.thanks for the reply. The dreams are quite disturbing not only for me but also my h/b as I tend to kick out quite violently and yell out as well. It's not as if I'm pushing anything away as I don't remember the exact events happening. Maybe just the exaggeration of the child's mind. Plus I tend to be a "worry wort" type anyway & will think of things before they happen. 😩

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member, @LooneyToones agree with @Appleblossom, not to go into counselling/therapy blindly. In my experience, it can definitely make things worse, and while in the long term there can be some promise of improvement, that can be a very, very long term. It comes down to a balancing, I think, of how bad things are now, how much worse they could become, and how much you have to lose if they become worse, versus some promise of improvement in the future, taking into account the fact that it may well take several tries before you find a counsellor/therapist that is actually helpful to you. 

[Arjay]

My pdoc today told me that these bad memories were normal, everyone has them.  As I posted before I am able to just tell them to go away, it works but they come back.  I am trying to forcibly replace them with some positive memories.  I think it is helping.

[LooneyToones]

Hi @ Appleblossom @Former-Member @Arjay @Former-Member @Kirra @jazz
Thanks for all responses. Certainly not rushing into it; been having these dreams for many years. While I would like to solve the puzzle and do wonder if they are related to my long term depression (40+ yrs) I'm coping without counselling. Thought-stopping doesn't really apply with dreams but I can see how it Cld be handy in other situations so will not dismiss it.
Hugs to you all 🌷🙏🏻

[Change123]

Hi all

I dont have any memory of my childhood from before 8 years old.  As I was subjected to abuse including some sexual from my father I suspect it has something to do with that.  I just recently spoke to a pyschiatrist when I had a review on my meds and he said sometimes remebering is not the best thing and its up to me to work out if I want to recover those memories.  At the moment I'm a bit scared to delve into it and because my father is dead now I dont know if it would help or just create more pain. But as everyone has stated he also said if you do want to recover those memories its best to have a therapist in that field.  

I also used to have this issue of bad dreams and kicking and punching in my sleep etc which caused a lot of issues with my partner as I have nearly punched him in the face.  For me the act of being pyhsical in my dreams was caused by my meds.  I had some REM problem thata my body didnt  paralyse when I went to sleep so I would actually act out my dreams.  Once I switched meds this stopped happening, dont get the dreams as much but thats probably because the meds are helping as well.