Unpredictable mood swings, depressed again

[D1ng0]

Hey @rav3n, thank you for the empathy. What I've been struggling with is not having any supports, except for very occasional contact... and even rarer if I don't/can't reach out... making the low moments especially lonely, as external positivity usually isn't available for me. So I'm glad to have this online community, because as I'm more and more depressed, reaching out to IRL people gets harder and harder. But I wish I could rely on supports that way.

Just season 13 of Vera 🙂 Predictable plots but pretty decent. The episodes are long which helps time pass, too.

Thank you for saying that, I really do appreciate it. Being alone on a Friday night is super hard so I'm grateful for the kind words. I hope you have a good night.

[rav3n]

@D1ng0 I hear you, it's hard to reach out to support on our tough days. I'm so glad to see you reach out on the forums and I'm always happy to listen, talk and be here for you 💗 

Have you tried support services like Lifeline or even calling the SANE counsellors before? I find it hard to reach out to my friends sometimes too, and talking to a stranger about my problems makes it a bit easier since I don't have to worry about masking my feelings. Is this something you'd feel comfortable trying?

Ooo never heard of Vera! I did a google, looks like its got some great ratings - predictable plots are so comforting to watch sometimes, that's why I tend to rewatch shows too 😊

I hope you know that you're not alone here, i hope you have lovely night too 💗

[D1ng0]

Thank you @rav3n 🙂

I've had really bad experiences calling helplines, unfortunately. The last time I tried to call SANE, I was on hold for one hour, and then the call hung up. And my experiences with Lifeline, QLife, etc have been really varied, sometimes worsening my mental health. So I'm not keen to give it another shot. These forums feel more approachable.

Yeah, it's a decent show. It also has casual representation of disabled people throughout, which has been a pleasant surprise. It definitely has heavy themes though, which I sometimes need to be careful about watching... I'd definitely take suggestions of comforting/chill media if you've got any 🙂

Thank you for making me feel less alone.

[tyme]

Sorry to hear helplines haven't been the best experience for you @D1ng0 .

Did you know Lifeline has a text based service (text messages)?

[rav3n]

i see, like @tyme mentioned perhaps webchats are the way to go?

hmm i like watching sitcom-like shows such as modern family, fresh prince of bel air, the good place, etc - they're quite short episodes though, not sure if that's your taste? 

maybe if you give me a genre or the name of a few other shows you like, i might be able to come up with slightly better suggestions 😅

[D1ng0]

Thanks @rav3n @tyme for reminding me of that. I'm a bit hesitant because I did try QLife's messaging service but the time was very limited, the responses seemed very boilerplate. I feel like I get more authentic responses here. But maybe Lifeline is good too?

@rav3n Comforting and chill Youtuber recommendations would be great if you've got any 🙂

[tyme]

Hey @D1ng0 ,

Thank you for sharing. 

I'm hearing how hard it is to feel heard sometimes. And it shouldn't be that way.

I can't say I have tried Lifeline, but I guess it also depends on who you get on the receiving end of the life, right?

How's your day been today anyway?

[D1ng0]

Cheers @tyme. Yeah, it does really frustrate me to not feel heard, but I usually just end up feeling really bad for the operator I connect with, because they just sound exhausted and disinterested. It's hurtful on my end to have bland phrases recited to me, especially if I'm in the middle of a breakdown or suicidal... but I just end up feeling that they've got a very hard job, and I definitely couldn't do it. And there's obviously no way to repeatedly speak to the same person, which is why I like these forums more. Even if I don't interact much, it's a bit more of a connection.

Thank you for asking 🙂 Mentally a bit better, physically pretty bad. In a lot of pain. So I'm taking it easy and hoping the pain doesn't send me back to that very dark place. I hope your afternoon/evening goes okay too.

[tyme]

Hey @D1ng0 ,

How are you today? Hope you are okay. I recognise things have been pretty tough lately.

Did you get up to anything today?

[D1ng0]

Hey @tyme thank you so much for asking. Am feeling pretty depressed and numb. But I've prepared dinner for the next 3 days and even managed to get some work done. So I'm not too good, but I did get up to some stuff 🙂 Feeling isolated is one of the hardest things I'm dealing with, so I appreciate you leaving me a comment. Hope you're good, too.