Over it

[Junie]

I'm struggling well been struggling probably all my life but I'm reaching my complete limit. 

*I am safe*

Insomnia is making me so angry I'm so tired I just want to sleep. I'm dizzy nauseous. Just makes everything harder.

Ii have such an amazing husband and children I feel so guilty even thinking like this making the insomnia worse. 

I don't have contact with my family mum dad sister. So support from them is like taking a gift that they will take right back off me if they don't get the control.. No contact is recent and still they are trying to access my kids they are toxic.

I'm also doing an dv application from a affair that turned into harrassment and threats from both the guy and the wife leaving me not wanting to go anywhere. Those kids are at the same schools so many issues with that not only the application but the wife / ex friend is also harrassing me and my children online and in person with gossip. 

Friends I have some but none that are close that I can talk to.

Struggling financially. Both job hunting after redundancy. 

I'm just so over everything Iam trying to see a glimpse of hope in each day I worry I haven't got anymore space and like I don't know what will make me not be able to control myself. 

[avant-garde]

@Junie 

Firstly, welcome to the forums, we are glad to have you! 

Thank you for telling us that you're safe, that's a really good thing for us to know. 

It sounds like life is rough for you at the moment and it's a pretty big step to reach out especially when you feel emotionally depleted. 

No contact is HUGE, well done! How are you feeling about it all?

Lack of sleep probably isn't helping though. 

Have you advised the school in case your family try and make contact there? 

Is there any way we can support you?

[Junie]

@avant-garde 

We have spoken multiple times you the highschool and we drop where there is cameras. 

We removed out other child from primary school to a different one as I was over being accused and harrassment over following his wife from that school to my home grrrr. 

No contact with my family and my husband's has been rough really rough so many people have an opinion. 

The DV application is really messed with me I can't seem to finish and submit it. I really am freaking out he will contest it. We already tried a good peace and behaviour bond we withdrew as he lawyered up and I couldn't face him in court. 

I am just so done and finding it so hard to get good care medical wise.