Hi @Buzzy96 and welcome to the forums
Firstly, good on you for reaching out. I know it's a hard thing to do, especially when you're going through such a difficult time.
I imagine it'd be quite confronting and scary having these feelings and thoughts for the first time. Have you been able to talk to anyone else about what you've been feeling?
It might be a good idea to start by reaching out to your gp and talking to them about a mental health care plan (if you haven't already) which allows you up to 10 subsidised sessions with a psychologist per year. They can help you manage these thoughts of suicide and self harm and give you tools to manage them.
In the meantime, it might be helpful to look into creating a safety plan, which is something you can lean on when you're having thoughts of suicide. There's a really helpful tool that takes you through the process. You could even call Lifeline and ask for some help in filling it out if you need.
Another tool that can be helpful in times when you're having self-harm urges is CalmHarm which is full of strategies to try to curb those urges - I just saw that this is now a paid app, does anyone else perhaps have some free resources they use for this?.
I hope this gives you some helpful resources to start with, and again, good on you for reaching out. The forums community is here for you