Hello! I've come here for a third party perspective without any emotional element.
I met a man 5 years ago. He has one child, I have two. At the time I was completely swept off my feet, beautiful man.. treated me so well - and those romantic ways are still there. He tells me I'm beautiful daily, checks in on me.. affection all the time, cooks... all the things I could want.
However, there is a nagging fear that he's stayed for the wrong reasons.
When we met I owned a small and modest house that I'd built - I was proud of this as I had achieved this as a single mother. Wasn't a factor at the time.
As time went on and we got serious, we moved in together and our families are blended. 3 years ago I decided to start a business. As the house if built was too small for all of us to live in I'd kept it as an investment and we were renting. I sold the house so I could put the money into the business.
Well... my business went extraordinarily well. I was amazed at how it has boomed. For the first couple years I put everything I had into it including working another job so that I didn't need to take a wage from it. My partner and I continued to split the bills and everything was fair.
It was going so well that we looked for a house to purchase. He made it very clear that he had a poor credit rating as years ago he hadn't paid off a credit rating. So, I put the house loan solely in my name.
In the last 6 months, my partner said he would help me with my business as it had gotten too much for me. 26 staff and a very profitable business. He has worked hard and has been paid for his time with a salary. In the last 12 months we purchased an office building and continued to expand. We have 4 work vehicles for the staff as well
Here's the kicker- I have an amazing accountant. I didn't know much about trust funds but she said to protect the business we should purchase buildings through a separate entity and a trust fund. She set this up for me. My partners name isn't on the trust fund.
When he realised this, he became upset. He said everything we own is in my name and he's entitled to nothing. He said he's continued to pay his way despite that it's not 'his house'.
He said that he's helped build this business from the ground up yet everything belongs to me. I pointed out i did all the hard work at the start and spent all my money from my house to get it going.
Red flags are waving in my peripherals at this point so I tell him that I'm going to do a legal will and wish to discuss this with him. He says he doesn't understand what there is to discuss because in a long term partnership everything goes to the partner.
I reminded him that my children are not his.. and if got everything and lived to 100 - the likelihood of him moving on and not including my kids in that inheritance is very high. His response was shocking... "why should the kids get anything when they havnt worked for it".
I went and had my will drawn up without him. I allocated the house and the business to him and the trust to my kids - meaning they get the investment properties. I havnt told him I've done this.
Yesterday he said he wants to take his daughter to Bali. He doesn't want my kids to come because it's for her 16th. I said I wouldn't consider coming without my kids as that's not at all fair. He seemed to realise this when I asked him to consider that scenario in reverse.
I tell him to take a father daughter holiday instead.
He says he can't afford it.
Am I just the cash cow here..? Am I being unfair to treat my business as mine? Am I being selfish to view it this way and to see him as taking advantage here??
