Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

Hi @saturnzoon @Owlunar @Former-Member @CheerBear @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51  @Zoe7 

omg I’m wishing tiday to be over 

I’m in a sh mood

even gardening was terrible 

he told me I take things too serious!!

im inside and having a coffee

maybe I am too serious???

is it me because of BPD??

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay 

I am having a really wonderful time here - the week has gone so fast - I will be going home on Monday and I have been walking and reading and enjoying myself

I'm sorry you are selling your house - it's your dream home - and what will you do then? - you have two kids living at home and Ayla and the rental market isn't cheap - this is so sad for you

So Huffnpuff says you are too serious - really - too serious for whom? - Him obviously - that doesn't mean you are too serious for reality - it seems to me that you are the person who runs your home and all that entails and that won't go away unless Huffnpuff pulls his weight - which is one big pity for him - wow - poor him

I would have blown my lid long before this - good or bad - for better or worse - I don't think the sky fell because I did. If the situation is getting to the point that you have to sell your house it is serious.

Marriages go on the rocks when the couple do not interact and pull the load together - still you know all of this already - it's his passive nature sorting the cups that is a bother - have you discussed what will happen when you do sell your house?

You are not too serious for the situation - I hear you

Dec 

[Shaz51]

sending you love and tender hugs my sister @BlueBay xoxo

hello @Owlunar , @saturnzoon , @Former-Member , @CheerBear 

it is hard to see our daughters and sons goigthrough life @BlueBay , just to be there for them in their journy is hard but that is all we can do but to support them xoxo

[BlueBay]

Hi @Dec  you must be feeling relaxed which I’m so happy for you ❤️

I really struggle emotionally when I talk about the strong possibility of selling. Because this house we’re in is my dream home. I love it so much. Everything in it is my dream. But because we’re struggling financially it only seems rational to sell and we could potentially pay off our mortgage. Which would be a huge bonus. 

But where do we go? - I would still like to stay down my area or even 30 mins further out. We’ve looked on the internet and there are some nice homes but nowhere near as nice as ours. And ours is only 2 1/2 yrs old. I know the area we live in has grown a lot and prices have skyrocketed. 

I kniw rationally this needs to be done. But emotionally it’s affecting me. 

I feel like I’ve failed.  I know our next home won’t be near new like ours. 

I really don’t know @Dec  its so stressful. Just thinking about it is bad enough. 

I remtnber when we last moved I ended up in hospital. 

I just have to put my heart aside and think thst it’s the best decision. 

We’ve decided to wait until spring and by then my daughter and her partner will rent agsin. And our youngest son will have finished uni snd will see where he’s going. 

My d snd her partner are working things through. He sees them on weekends and they speak each day. He’s working and it seems he’s realised what he’s done. All I can do is support my d and gd whatever way. 

I guess that’s why I’m so stressed emotionally and physically 😢

[BlueBay]

Hi @Shaz51 @Owlunar @saturnzoon @Former-Member @CheerBear @Faith-and-Hope @Razzle @Zoe7 

out this morning to see MIL. Something I have to do. Haven’t seen her for a while. I need to let my anger go. 

I feel I’m on edge with everyone at home. Not good. 

[BlueBay]

Here at nursing home snd she’s asleep. Can’t even wake her up. So what’s the point. 

I sound like a real bitch don’t i. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

No @BlueBay , you sounds frustrated and annoyed, that’s all ..... and I am sure I would be too,  Your MIL hasn’t been nice to you in the past, and you have put yourself out this morning to honour a duty of care towards her that is gracious under the circumstances, only to find that it has been a waste of your time, not to mention the emotional gearing-up you had to do to talk in the visit in the first place.

Gove yourself a break Hon.  It’s okay to be feeling upset and put out.  You are entitled to have your own feelings.

💜💐

[Owlunar]

You're not a bitch @BlueBay  - as @Faith-and-Hope said - you get yourself geared up and then nothing - which is worse? I can't imagine

Am I a bitch because I told my mother if she spoke to me the way she did I wouldn't come back - and I didn't? No - I think it's harder to put ourselves first and that's being assertive - basically being assertive is working out whose problem something is and my mother wore out my desire to put up with her mouth - 

So - honestly - would you say I was a bitch? I am sure you wouldn't. So why think you are - you actually visit?

I was thinking about your selling your home and the wisdom or lack of wisdom involved. I don't know your whole situation but you do have to pay somewhere to live and at least paying a mortgage means you are paying off your home. Take time to look up your local rental accommodation - also - moving further out means paying more for petrol and buying an older house means buying someone else's problems

I've mentioned this before - I guess I know the answer. Huffnpuff could get another job - a few hours an evening doing some chores somewhere in a supermarket or a coffee shop - 

Your being serious about all of this is normal - Huffnpuff needs a wake-up call - 

I have a headache this morning and I am taking a walk in the sunshine - it's a beautiful day here

And it would have been great if you could have come with me - I have been thinking about you so much of the time - it hasn't been a strain - I have been feeling relaxed

Back later

Dec

[saturnzoon]

@BlueBay I agree with @Faith-and-Hope and @Owlunar , please do not put yourself down BlueBay, you are very caring and it takes courage doing something that is very hard after what has happened, be proud that you did visit even if she was asleep.

[BlueBay]

Thanks @saturnzoon @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope  i really appreciate your support. 

After leaving nursing home we decided to call our son to see if he was free for catch up dnd lunch. He was so we caught up in the area where he lives. Nice lunch together. Now we’re home snd I’m trying to rest but it’s hard with an 18 month old!!! 

might do some crochet.