Lived Experience Forum

[Powderfinger]

@saltandpepper 

I went off Sane for a few months, that is why you didnt get any response. Sometimes we just need space and to do life. It is fine that you were not able to respond. I hope you are doing so much better and I am sorry to hear about your split. 

[Oaktree]

Hi guys,

I lived through childhood abuse. I have never gotten over it. I am 50 and it still affects me. I have no contact at all with anyone in my birth family. I am sad for the loss of the relationships that I wished I could have had but that never existed. Family is the most important thing to me. I am going to be starting trauma therapy soon but I am terrified. I did confront my Mother when I was in my early 20's and she as good as denied everything although she did tell me that she had walked in on my siblings abusing me when I was very little. She is extremely narcissistic and everything is about her. She said I had made her feel depressed. I don't remember the last time I saw her but it must be at least 15+ years ago and I don't miss her. I am looking forward to a world that doesn't contain her in it.

Meggle

[Oaktree]

I was also physically abused by my father and had some sexual abuse by my siblings and my Mothers' ex-boyfriend. I really won the childhood lottery.

Meggle

[Oaktree]

Don't get me wrong- I don't feel sorry for myself but I wish someone had been there to protect little me. 

So sorry for all you guys here have experienced also @saltandpepper @Powderfinger @BlueBay @LostAngel @NatureLover 

[LostAngel]

mmm with me I wish there was more affection from my mother and more things raised with my father about a particular person to be super aware of,please take care and remember whatever happend it wasnt your fault but you can heal from it,youve got suport on here @Oaktree we understand 

[NatureLover]

@Oaktree  I'm very sorry to hear about your narcissistic mother and the physical and sexual abuse when you were a child 😞

I hope the trauma therapy helps.

[saltandpepper]

G'day @Powderfinger good to see you back here. How have you been getting on? What's brought you back to SANE?

Yeah I've been ok thanks, up and down, it's been a crazy time here

[saltandpepper]

Hey @Oaktree thanks for dropping in here and sharing with us. I am sorry to read about everything you have been through. I'm not sure it's something you will ever "get over", but hopefully in time it will get easier to live with. I hope trauma therapy brings you the peace you deserve and you're able to heal some of those wounds. They'll always be there, but therapy can help in processing it all.

And your comment about not feeling sorry for yourself--I think it's important and even necessary to grieve for the lost childhood. Childhood abuse robs you of so much, I think it's a loss that deserves to be mourned.

[Powderfinger]

@Oaktree 

It is such a normal feeling to have wanted to be protected and wishing that was the case for you. It is also difficult to come to acceptance and then there is grief and loss on top of it. It is alot to deal with. 

[Powderfinger]

@saltandpepper 

Hey there, been extremely busy these last five months. It is almost too muvh to even talk about really. One day at a time. I just thought I would pop in. Missed the place  and folks a bit and remembered how good I felt at times when here. I think it is a world matter too, crazy times. Zoning in to just you though, I hope things start to settle down a bit for you soon.