Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Dunks]

This is my life at the moment and I am learning to stay quiet or out of the way and not try to engage in conversation ... when elevated it is an insular world

[Carlachris]

@Dunks  your welcome. Scooted down the Street and forgot the Icecream.....lol. Did sit for awhile and watched the local cricket guys under18s so much energy. I am disabled and can’t walk very far due to many leg operations but my scooter and I are great friends. Freedom to just be me for a little while. Making the effort to have a very small amount of alone time everyday has worked wonders for us. We are able to then kind of separate all the MI into a box just wish it was a tighter lid.

yes our headspace comes secondsometimes our loved ones need to be reminded that we matter as well. It’s all in the timing though. 

We are here for each other and I know in a couple of weeks I will need a kind ear or two as we are being made responsible for moving hubbys Trigger ( 90 yr old ill mother) into a nursing home. Sh*# will hit the fan but we have to go straight through it. Extra psych app already lined up. Hoping as always for the best but adding toxicity to MI is never going to be easy. Ark up the music I say.

[Dunks]

@Carlachris 

Goid luck with the moving Mum.

Always so many layers to work through.

After frightful start to the day I have just spent time alone doing a bit of study and catching up on the phone with done old friends.  Feeling much calmer and nurtured while Mr Wwas outside in heat going 10p miles an hour. 

But alas he just burst  in and abused me for being selfish and not looking after him.

I was proud of myself though as I did not respond ...... even though I had plenty to say about how I spend my day off after working 6 days.

Caring for  myself is definitely going help me care for him

[Carlachris]

@Former-Member agree very much we spend so much time being the Carer we forget about ourselves. The days of having people over for a meal are largely over for us due to Hubbies social anxieties. It’s just too hard on me. The triggers are so many I don’t enjoy the time and if I do enjoy the microscopic debrief that goes on for hours afterwards is not worth it.

Being centered within myself flys out the door. Lucky we have the fishpond.....lol.

Recognition is key. I feel it is usually a turning point towards recovery.

[Carlachris]

Good one you @Dunks  baby steps.it takes time. Little tiny shifts in your own perceptions will improve things. Anger towards you is a No no. That’s a big one. It has taken me yrs but I no longer put up with that. Another boundary I have implemented. I never let it slip these days EVER.

I set it up  12 months ago. When he was really well. I explained calmly how I was feeling abused emotionally by him and it had to stop. He HAS to trust me when I say the words “you need to see your psych”. Then I walk away from him without another word. No more whipping post flares. It’s too much. Finding ways to circumvent the irrationality is hard but you can find ways. We are expert at reading the situations before they do. It takes time.

[Carlachris]

Big NOTE on the fridge door. My fur babies are my sanity some days. 2 Cats and a dog. 

[Carlachris]

Your going to laugh....Star Trek....for me it’s just escaping for an hour or two. Cat curled up on my lap out by the fishpond on my iPad. Such a great invention the iPad. 🧘‍♂️ And acupuncture.

[Shaz51]

hllo @Carlachris , @Former-Member , @Dunks , @Determined , @Faith-and-Hope , @Sasha_86 

today has been a big day xoxo

[Dunks]

@Shaz51 

Hey there  .. a big day for you too 

Look after yourself 

[Former-Member]

What did you get up to today @Shaz51 ?