15-08-2019 08:37 AM - edited 15-08-2019 08:39 AM
Do you like my mr.’s take on downsizing ? Throw out half of what you own in a weekend ..... tag-dah 🎉 .... now it all fits.
Headed him off at the pass and started sorting properly. Will take months, from a storage facility, that we will reduce as we go.
15-08-2019 08:50 AM
@Faith-and-Hope, you're probably already pretty good at this, but a bit of a mindshift for me recently was realising that I had a relatively short list of "furniture that I wouldn't want to part with", compared to the much longer list of "furniture that's good enough to be worth keeping". Only a slight change in the question, but a significant change in the result.
I've been watching some friends going through the process of downsizing as they move into a house more appropriate to their time of life. They've spent years running a large and very good antiques shop, so as you can imagine, some of their downsizing decisions have been hard ones. Beautiful pieces of furniture that they've had for most of their lives, some of which were certainly from their "wouldn't want to part with" list. Sentimental pieces. Maybe sometimes it's a matter of being satisfied that your treasures will become someone else's treasures. I applaud their willingness to know when to let go.
15-08-2019 08:54 AM
You bet it does @Darcy .... and he’s totally oblivious 😔. My enfant terrible ..... and I am still reeling from the emotional aggression driving it. All he can see is a mountain that needs to be removed, and brings in the wrecking ball. It’s not shouting or anything, just a matter-of-fact take-over with skewed forceful argument and lawyer-like slurs towards any protest.
The kids’ presence and involvement allowed it to evolve into the compromise. I don’t have much voice as far as he is concerned, because I am the one who tried to suggest he needs help to medical people .....
The job is getting done, and it’s another step forward towards wherever we’re going with this .....
15-08-2019 09:06 AM
I appreciate that very much @Smc, and thankfully there is only a dining set that we want to keep but have no place for, but it’s a “family heirloom” type piece so we will debate that one for a while.
The rest is all the sort of household sorting that results as a result of moving house and settling the keepables where they are to go, and saying a fond goodbye to things that are no longer of service or high enough sentimental value to stay.
The problem for us is that my mr. is running on adrenaline and has made plans for us to travel coast to coast and sometimes overseas on every school and uni break, and this comes on the back of sundry house moves icing to 2x floods and extensions / restorations ..... so all that usual sorting and passing. things on hasn’t been done for a decade.
Add on the fact that he refused to build or buy cabinetry for our most sentimental possessions which remained in boxes, and then got flooded with other items during the flood crises, so the whole lot is now jumbled together.
It will take time, and we now live on the other side of the country, upsizing where we live here ..... out of necessity. Much of the sorting will be destined for here, with a pied-au-terre in the other city for visiting with our kids and other family.
15-08-2019 09:16 AM
I think when decisions are made in consultation with and consideration of those involved they are easier to come to terms with.
Feeling powerless = 😖
15-08-2019 09:30 AM
@Faith-and-Hope, I find it hard enough sorting out two households in different places. I think at least the job of sorting through my parents' things has made me clearer on my own priorities, but the downside is that there's really not enough weeks in the year to act on those priorities. We both have drawn out processes ahead of us, with assorted complicating factors... "...just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
15-08-2019 03:21 PM
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