Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

Hello @Rhye 

Mum is back in hospital 

Mr shaz and I have this rotten flu which we have been home all week 

No work this week and we have lost one of our regular jobs 

How are you going , did you have a break away 

[Rhye]

Oh @Shaz51 that sounds like you've got a bit on your plate still. I'm sorry to hear you lost one of your jobs, I hope that doesn't impact you too much financially, and all the worse when you're battling the flu. It really seems to be taking a hold atm!

How's your mum going? Has her health stabilised?

[Shaz51]

The doctors are not sure why mum is in a lot of pain @Rhye , they have suggested for mum to stay permanently in hospital as she has had 3 admittance in 8 weeks by ambulance to the hospital 

She is 91 today 

I think my body was being run down for soo long that I was bound to catch something like the flu to stop me 

[Rhye]

A big happy birthday to your mum @Shaz51 ‌💜‌ It must be a particularly difficult time for you at the moment; having navigated something similar, my heart goes out to you.

Have you been able to have some real downtime? It does sound like your immune system has called the shots and demanded some extra sleep and couch time.

[Shaz51]

Just lost another regular job which we have been doing for the last 13 years  😪

@Rhye 

[Rhye]

@Shaz51 I'm feeling that one right along with you, big hugs. It's the last kind of news you need right now. I won't try to spin it positively, I will simply say I'm really sorry to hear it and I hope another opportunity comes along to replace this one real soon.

[Shaz51]

Thank you @Rhye ❤❤

[Determined]

1) How are you feeling?

Feeling about a 4 today. And possibly sinking. 

Despite things actually going ok at the moment generally 😥

2) What is one thing you have struggled with, and one thing you have done well?

Struggling with being responsible for holding everyone together. Lots of people relying on me approaching exceeding my capacity. 

I am really loving my new job but concerned it will not be sustainable long term. Particually as FiL is requiring more support and darling does not have the capacity to provide that support. Getting children to appointments that don't require her input is a challenge for her unfortunately, so dad 🤷‍

Something I did well.

Declined a request to cover a roster (not work)  because I was too tired. If the request was processed without the expectation that I would just do it I may have made an effort  but nope sorry can't help 😅  felt good rather than guilty. 

3) What is one nice thing you can do for yourself today?

Dunno... too tired.

[tyme]

You've made some very healthy decisions there @Determined .

Your care for your darling is admirable. 

I hope you will find the energy to do something pleasant for yourself - if not today, in the near future.

I'm happy to see you tonight. I feel like we've missed your presence, but I also acknowledge everything you have on your plate. 

Fancy a cuppa? Share a cuppa? 

tyme

[Determined]

Have just been reading a thread from 5+ years ago that someone recently responded to  and tagged me in

We really have come a very long way so most grateful for that. It does hilight just how many years we have lost though.

Even in the past weeks we have come a long way.

I think part of the reason I  am feeling down is I am gradually pulling down some walls of protection and feeling vulnerable.

There is a lot of resentment and hurt to work through and let go of. Stuff I believed I had delt with thay is still juat under the surface. While her illness is the cause of this hurt and resentment  I don't consciously or intentionally hold  this against my Darling,.. 

More it is a conscious and intentional effort not to hold these things against her. And that makes me.sad that I have to work so hard at this 😥