worried

[outlander]

@Appleblossomim not upset at all, people get jumbled up all the time and these things happen. dont stress about it at all  

thank you for the tips, she was my great grandmother- so pops mother inlaw. he seems ok today but the viewing and funeral are coming up over the next few days so itll be hard for him. 

[Appleblossom]

So she is part of your extended family.  Go gently with YOU

[outlander]

yes @Appleblossom she was my nans (who i was really close to) mum. she looked and spoke so much like my nan. my nans date of death is only a few weeks away too. at least they can be together again. of them couldnt leave the hosue so they didnt get to see other for yrs. 

im more worried about my pop, and mum and everyone else closer to me. i want to make sure they are ok 

[Appleblossom]

 @outlander It is difficult for everybody, but dont let your mind inflate it. 

We cant really control how others feel and react. Things may ripple through the family.

Keep on with lots of self care while you are looking out for them.

(Had to edit .. cos of bloomin predictive text ... wish they'd go back to having some faith in humans over computers .. not even my typing is that bad .. )

[outlander]

thanks @Appleblossom im trying my best, it just never seems enough

[outlander]

my sisters are taking it well thankfully, she was sick for a long time so was abit prepared. they will grieve in their own ways though and thats ok, mum is having abit of a hard time and so is pop and they will be going to the funerals etc i wont be going ill take care of sisters and the things at home @Appleblossom it just hard atm. 

my family doesnt really care about me, i dont know why i bother but i cant help it. people kept calling me a 'thing' at the family bbq instead of my name or talking to me so that was hard to go through as well as pop making out im a bad carer and got questioned  by everyone. its all just coming to a point i think

[Appleblossom]

Sometimes it is better to go to funerals and sometimes better to stay home.  I dont regret staying home for my dad's funeral at 11 as I was wary about all the family and "public" business. I had not articulated it in my mind back then.  It is good that you are clear in your mind about stuff.  

That is so horrible to have to experience those attitudes from people. @outlander So shocking and so Wrong.  Your father ought have more loyalty and maturity. Human nature it what it is ... we can be surprised but also disappointed. Unfortunately similar things happened in my extended family, my grandfather playing off 2 sisters about who was the caring one ... it deepened family feuds ...so they last for generations and I still carry much of the responsibility.  It is important not to take on more than is your genuine role tho.  

[outlander]

i was going to go but i dont think i can, im needed elsewhere and i dont think i could really handle it anyway @Appleblossom thats not the first and it wont be last it happens. im the odd sheep in the family, i dont think thatll ever change. 

it was my pop- i dont have a dad (well i do technically) sometimes i dont know why i bother with anyone. for now i just need to make sure everyone else is ok then maybe ill be ok too

[Appleblossom]

Just back from shopes and making lunch. @outlander

That is a natural and normal response of a child, but if the amount of WORK to keep family culture healthy falls too much onto a minor's (not sure 18 or 21 or 25) shoulders than that becomes child abuse.  As children will often take up the slack where there elders are not being present and responsible.

I have to go soon after checking notifications.

[outlander]

yeh i guess so @Appleblossom thanks  

starting to get a head and neck ache so will go too and get that back under control again