I'lle re read your story, the story is good but it's just that you reminded me of when I purchased all these books on Psychotherapy Diagnosis......it was for study........but I had a seriously drug addicted boyfriend too and it was a relief going to therapy and obsessing over him ......
Now I know, that was MY way of dealing with my pain over my son's illness. he was very very ill.
He is fine now.
But I didnt want to think of my son's illness nor my older son's issues....I wanted to struggle with something else. But it was and should have been and was meant to me about ME and my son's fear. My oldest son's anger.
Just to let you know, they are fine now. I have a relationship with them both. They were both in therapy when I dated this person.
BUt at the time It was more important to spend this money on books and read about this....boyfriend's 'diagnosis,' BPD. Psychosis.
Today....... I have nothing to do with that person but I do know that he has said some things to mutual friends, about 10 years ago that I saved his life.
Thats nice. And I care about him very much.
So, your story is very different that mine.
But what I got out of your story is this;
The most important person in this reationship is actually you. And how you decide to work out your own flexibillity and what you can cope with.
What are your values?
Why did you begin using and why did you stop? Did you have to stop?
How will you get support?
What are your long term goals?
This is not an Australian Book but I find the book;
Mental Health Recovery Heroes Past and Present: A handbook for mental health care staff, service users and carers
This groundbreaking new handbook examines the concept of personal recovery through the narratives of, and interviews with, people from all walks of life who have embarked on a recovery journey and thus might be considered heroes.
I joined Scribd and they have this book online in their books.
What you are choosing is difficult. How will you cope when your partner needs hospital? Can you keep on remembering your own self in this? This is the only way your relationship with your partner will survive. In that you know yourself.
I am married to my soul mate. He also has a diagnosis and I need to always check in with myself on what I can do. So we broke up for 18 months because his way of living was not for me. It was amazing when he came back....but I still wasnt quite sure. We ened up realising that we were just meant to be together ....after 8 months of visiting each other.
No matter what I do, I check in to see if I'm ok. It is really hard work to get into a habit of it and years and years of therapy for myself.
This book has helped me so much. What is harder is choosing to call myself a proud consumer which means I have accessed mental health agencies in the past.
It's really easy to run around and talk to everyone about MY Husbands diagnosis. What I have to do to keep myself in good health.
Arent I wonderful?
But what do you think it is like for my....soul mate? Is this a soul mate type of thing to do? To discuss my husbands diagnosis??
What happens if he hears me discussing his 'diagnosis?" Will he walk away with me ....feeling loved?
Another amazing book is by Ann Devenson," Tell me Im here." This is about her son Johnothon, a normal family, who's oldest son fell into Schizphrenia. her maothering was normal, but he was the oldest son and the trauma of the divorce when he was about 6, playing with illegal substances at 13 kick started his journey into Schizophrenia.
The story is .....compassionate and just stays with you for ages.
Please write again, I love learning from you too
How are you spending your days?
PP
