Drowning in depression and anxiety

[Knotz]

Hi I’m not really sure if I’m in the right place or doing the right thing 

I’ve been drowning in my own depression and anxiety for weeks I’m absolutely miserable and exhausted I can’t sleep at night because I’m laying in bed wide awake overthinking EVERYTHING and it’s killing me i just want to be happy I’m really considering to non-life myself I’m so tired of failing and disappointed others and myself, I put in so much effort into everything I do even if it’s just the bare minimum every task is a struggle I HATE that every time my life and mental health seems to start getting better life throws a hard life lesson or problems at me and I constantly get thrown back to square one I’m tired of trying only to get set back to the beginning why can’t I just be happy why can’t I just succeed for once 

why can’t sleep at night and actually have a good sleep. 
I’m so tired I’m suffocating in my own thoughts I do not have a happy place 

I don’t know how to copy 

I don’t have a way to wind down and relax I don’t drink or smoke or anything like that 

I don’t draw anymore because I can’t handle it not being perfect and I get so frustrated with myself 

I don’t know what to do anymore 

I’m struggling with money and so much more 

I wish so many things would just disappear and leave me alone 

I’m so scared all the time and every day that passes the more I consider not living anymore 

I don’t know how to escape this pain 

I am so tired 

[jazz]

Hey there @Knotz welcome to the forums, I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much and glad that you have reached out. We have sent you an email checking in and offering some supports. Please take care of yourself as best you can in this difficult time.

[balance37]

@Knotz I'm sorry to hear there is so much going on for you and that it's been a difficult time for a while. You've done the right thing by sharing this with others. I'm on the forums until 10pm tonight, so thought I'd just check in and let you know we're here to listen if you need. Or just chat about something different, whatever you feel like. Take care and keep us updated 🌹

[Softy1]

Hey, your not alone I'm feeling the same way, things go great for like a week or 2 and bam something again. I'm over it as well and I have seriously been going on this same damn journey for like 20 years now and yeah when will it end. All I can do is comfort you and say you aren't alone in this but you gotta keep trying right? I have kids and that's my main motivation for keeping on going. What or who is your motivation and why? Life is definitely not easy but thinking what would happen to everyone without me keeps me going and going, because I'm everyone's rock. The only this is I don't have a rock anymore!

[Anna55]

You’re not alone , I feel exactly the same everyday. I’m laying here wishing I would fall asleep and never wake up. I have no one to talk to the completely understands the struggle of day to day existence.

[RiverSeal]

Hey @Anna55 

Thank you for posting here on the Forums and sharing your thoughts with the community!

I'm hearing that you don't have anyone to talk to who just gets what you are going through. We have Peer Support Workers here at SANE who have a lived experience with mental health issues. We have a mutual shared experience with the people we support and can relate to what people are going through. I wonder if would you consider connecting more here on the Forums or looking into the Guided Service and seeing if you are eligible to participate. Guided service (sane.org)

The community of peers here on the Forums can support you too and it's a great place to connect with people who experience their own mental health issues.

Take care

RiverSeal