Bipolar Major Depressive Episode - Should I call his psychiatrist?

[Animallover123]

Hi,

I posted last week that my BiPolar 2 Husband has been having a major depressive episode for about 3 weeks and he has never had one this bad before. He was diagnosed BP-2 at the beginning of the year and started taking medication. About a month ago his mood started going down hill until one day I came home from work and he was in a highly agitated/irritated state that lead to a full depressive episode. Not eating, sleeping, leaving the house, rarely talking and when he does it’s a grunt or an angry reply. He has opened up tonight that he doesn’t know what he is done with his life and that he has wasted his life. He said he just ‘can’t take the pain anymore’ and thinks about his cousin who committed suicide last year (undiagnosed BP). I’ve suggested we call his psychiatrist and get an urgent appointment as she can tweak medication and can help. However, he is very adamant that he doesn’t want to go back to any doctors or psychologists because they embarrass him and make him feel ashamed for being such a freak (not the case at all). He believes that the medication has caused this as he never had an episode like this before he was medicated.  I suggested that I could call his psych trust and ask her for some advice but he said no that it’s embarrassing and shameful. Does anyone have any advice as to what I should do? He isn’t being rational, of course which is the depression. Should I call the psychiatrist and ask her for help myself without telling him? I have never seen him like this before and I am extremely worried. 

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Animallover123 

I can hear how worrying and stressful these past three weeks have been for you. It is such a difficult position to be in when your loved one won't accept help in times when it's clear that they need it most. 

His behaviour, as well as his thoughts of his cousin who died by suicide must be very concerning. When this conversation came up, did you ask if he was having any thoughts of suicide himself? If you believe that he is at risk of harming himself, I encourage you to reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide callback service on 1300 659 467, or if you feel there is immediate danger call 000.

In regards to calling his psychiatrist, it would likely be beneficial for them to be aware of your husband's current condition, though due to patient confidentiality they may be unable to discuss much more without consent from your husband. 

For more options to gain guidance and support, you can call the SANE helpline on 1800 187 263 (Mon-Fri 10am-8pm)

Or your state's mental health triage service 

Feel free to reach out here for support and to keep us updated, we're here for you