I see a lot of the issues coming out of a general tendency of people to over generalise. Trying to be careful with my words here.
A lot of the time I have come to accept that, and rarely take it seriously but mentally step back, and often do a work around. like taking the issue from another vantage point. In many ways I was lost in "the system"....the state wardship system in group and foster homes, and then almost felt more at home in bigger systems with clear rules of engagement that smaller social groups with "in" language or values. I knew often that whatever was being said from those with "the power" was usually not about me, but some other kid, but we all got the lecture.
Now I have significant and broad education, I can get a bit cross about all the B&W thinking and overgeneralisations I see out there among the NORMIES, who do not give it a second thought, whereas it is listed in DSM as a symptom. Its a blooming symptom of Homosapiens.(edit cos of language algorythm) The sapientia aspect...imho.
Yet often the mind tends to go in that direction with sweeping comments, so "among friends" it is easy to slip into that mode without taking into consideration all the exceptions to any given statement. For if we did that ALL the time, we would be speaking in legalese too much and communication would be clogged.
When I read your post @chibam I did not feel offence intended or taken. I got that you were mainly riffing with @Historylover and that it was mainly a statement of how you felt about yourself. I did "think" about whether I would support the whole post, as I did have the thought, that I did not agree with that small paragraph that @tyme indicated gave her concern. It was not an offence, just a mental "yes this, yes this, no that". I laughed inside when you ended with we should be speaking to those in charge. Mostly I like your thoughtful posts, and can never be bothered with nitpicking, that does not mean I do not notice subtle things. I just understand we cannot all agree on everything all the time, but we should be grown up enuff to take minor disagreements or differences with maturity. That was before I read tymes post.
In the end I supported both your apology posts because I thought that took dignity and forbearance, but I also supported tyme's post.
@Historylover
Not throwing the baby out with the bathwater, re Friendship. I tend to build on common ground and take a step back when it is not. If someone continually picks a bone with me, I might stand up once or twice, but if its repeated I do back right off tho and let them go. I have to deal with constant neck pain. I am just not that interested in argument, tho was good at debating at school, never bothered with it at uni, too busy with motherhood.
We did not have the French option at my school and it always seemed mysterious to me with their weird pronunciations. Not sung much in French! Not well at least. lol.
It is usually a GOOD when we explore and respect the cultures and histories of our forebears, tho can get problematic when we live in the past. I am sad about the Leicester attacks in UK atm. Humankind has a history of migration and it can get tricky.
One line of my family was in Rotterdam during the war. Not a nice place to be, and a lot of trauma damaged individuals. Can only imagine what you went through, as my Dutch family were in "general" ambitious and focussed on getting ahead, and dropped us as the poor rellies. Not interested in defending all folk from that city, or any other city or country, religion, political persuasion or ethnicity. Open to discussion tho.
I agree with you about boganville ... a little. Sadly after my father died that is mostly what I got from the Aussie quarters, such a bloomin over dose it drove me into books literature and fine music!
I had to go back and look for more redeeming Australian culture in last few years, better than various socially based dualisms of Catholic/Protestant, Men/Women, Damned Whores or God's Police and xenophobic provincialism probably caused by The Tyranny of Distance.
Letting go of that neighbour. Learning to trust my instincts. Not investing any more deeper understanding or kindness in him, just superficial casual friendliness tho I will still have time for the family he attached himself to, (he actually does not live in my street but comes every day to visit. He also kept patronising my son and almost was mindlessly inciting violence in the protest movement last year but then smoothly denying it, and smoothly boasting of his enlightenment, but I know what I saw and heard. I also know ... he had a hard life, but many people have, and I know where my duty lies.
I did a lit major with no Aussie lit, (turned my nose up it at the time ...lol) but things have improved and I love the emergence of a local literary culture which fills in some of the gaps of why people are the way they are. Reading "Wild Abandon" by Emily Ditto atm. An old lecturer started the Stella prize .. so I keep informed and somewhat current, and Yippee I am too old now, to have to always do or read what everyone else tells me to. Sorry if my essay is too much. Take Care
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