Lived Experience Forum

[Ugly_Trout]

Hi all. I seem to only use the forums when I can feel myself getting worse. My latest diagnosis is social phobia with paranoid delusions. I'm struggling due to swapping medications and then my psych going on holidays for 3 moths. 3rd time they were changed. I'm due to see a triage nurse tomorrow at the local community mental health team. They won't see me till I'm released from my psych. I'm just getting more shut in in my unit for fear of others in the community. 

Not that I think they'd physically hurt me, more the death by a thousand cuts everywhere I go. people laughing at me, cars thinking I'm following them. Other cars following me and tailgating. The outside world is tough to live in. 

My question is how do I get all of my conspiracies against me clear to the triage nurse on duty tomorrow? I'm worried they'll just discharge me with no real help. And it's been exhausting carrying around the weight of my thoughts. I barely trust family anymore. Ive got no friends to speak of for support. Music is my saviour. listening to it. Maybe one day learning the keyboard. 

I'm really feeling pressure. I've taken 2 mood tablets to calm down but its a never ending self story of paranoia.

[Sunshineandsea]

Hey @Ugly_Trout 

What a scary place to be in ❤️‍🩹 I’m glad you’ve been able to come into the  forums. 

Have you consistent care supports when you visit the community mental health team? Are they aware of all your history and medication change and psych? And do you have a rapport with them?

I think that you should definitely speak to them about what you would like from your appointment tomorrow.

I am sitting with you ❤️

Sunshineandsea xx 

[Ugly_Trout]

Hi @Sunshineandsea 

I've written some stuff down. They won't see me until my other psych releases me from his care. I don't have any other support. My GP doesn't get it and I've given up on trying to find a good one. They all seem to go by the clock. In my experience. Thanks for replying. 

I'll write some more stuff down. I'll try to get some sleep tonight as well. 

[Sunshineandsea]

Hey @Ugly_Trout 

We have a drop in service if you'd like to have a chat??

https://www.sane.org/get-support/drop-in-service

xx

[Appleblossom]

@Ugly_Trout Hi

I encourage you to start learning the keyboard.  There are adult tutor books that start from scratch and lots of resources online.  It can be a good distraction from troubling thoughts and teach focus as well of the experience of making music.

[Ugly_Trout]

Hi @Sunshineandsea @Appleblossom 

Sorry both. I took myself off to bed last night and basically tried to shutdown. Eventually I fell asleep. I'm not near the drop-in service. I'm in WA. Unfortunately we don't have anything like that here. There is a community mental health team but because I'm under the care of the other psychiatrist they can't treat me. I'll be ok. I know it. it's just a tough road at the moment. And has been for a while now, hence being near breaking point. But I will persevere. Thanks for your replies. 🙂 

[perspective]

Oh hi sorry to hear your unwell 

if I’m in an immediate kind of crisis state there is one thing I usually do: 

I run a hot bath , Epsom salts, bath bombs, candles …anything relaxing I can lay my hands on. I turn tv off and have a bit of calming music 

I then soak and keep hot water running into bath if it cools off

This is my remedy, may not work for everyone but it gives me some peace