Lived Experience Forum

[Marlowe]

Hi everyone,

I have just joined this Forum as I have been looking for a community of support. I am a survivor and am still grieving my past. I also have a really big load and lots of responsibilities and find myself hitting (mentally and emotionally) the wall a lot - things just feel too big and too hard. I am not that happy and feel like I am letting my kids down by not being this breezy, cheerful, take things in my stride kind of person. My youngest son is having some seperation anxiety issues and I feel pretty alone with this issue as all the other kids in his class are all over that stuff. One of my key questions for the group is around whether other people with less than perfect starts find themselves tripped up by big feelings which get in the road of sensible change? I am trying to retrain myself towards action rather than despair but it's such a slow journey and my default is fear / comparison / isolation... Looking forward to hearing from you and all and hope everyone is finding ways to look after themselves. Cheers, Marlowe.

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @Marlowe 

I hear what you are feeling but it's always easier to tear yourself down than it is to build yourself. 

Although your past has to lead you to this point, you can only control what you can in this present moment so if you find yourself thinking back, try to stop, have a look around and refocus on where you are at the present moment. 

My humble opinion, you are doing a great job, you are recognising that separation issues exist. It's normal to want to fix an issue, but this may be a process that he needs help to understand the way he is feeling but he needs to figure out how to solve it himself. I am sure he will remember your support for a lot longer than you fixing things for him.

I also found this youtube video great when I am feeling less than perfect. It helps me to refocus on what I really need to do to be successful in the present moment. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOMkBihsWZw&t=88s

Good luck, you got this!

[Daisydreamer]

Hi @Marlowe and welcome to the SANE Forums, 

I just wanted to reiterate what @AussieRecharger mentioned here: awareness of the separation anxiety and the fact you are here reaching out for help says to me that you are mindful and are doing everything you can. Juggling responsibilites and recovery can feel like the weight of the world on your shoulders.

You mentioned hitting that emotional wall, do you have supports around you at the moment to help you through this?