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CarolC
New Contributor

Depression.

Hi my husband evelped Depression with suicidal thought several months ago and has received treatment from a Public Mental health Service.  During this time I have been excluded from his recover and eventual discharge.   My husband is still not "himself", he is flat and withdrawn and I am finding this very hard to cope with.  He doesn't discuss how he feels about anyhting and shows no emotions at all.  Except perhaps frustration at times.   I wonder if this is normal, and if in time his mood will improve or will this be how it is going to be.  

thanks in advance

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Depression.

Things sound so tough @CarolC .

 

It must be a challenge to see a loved one 'flat' and 'still not himself'. Was the public mental health treatment like a 6-week service like a suicide prevention service?

 

Was your husband referred on to anyone else, say, his discharge papers sent to his GP?

 

It's a tough space to be in, but not uncommon. I'm sure other members will be able to share their experiences with you here.

 

tyme

Re: Depression.

Hi @CarolC 

 

Welcome to the forums & thankyou for sharing part of your story. I hope you can find some support and maybe answers here.

 

I have lived with depression for decades now. I cannot remember how life would be without it. Thankfully, medications have had positive effects for me, at times I still experience episodes of being flat, as you describe it.

It has been a case of trial & error to figure out the right treatment & dosage. At different times in my life I have found different meds more suitable, as well as periods of none at all.

 

It sounds as though you are feeling in a lonely place at the moment. The man you married has withdrawn & excluded you in his recovery in some ways. I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

I was wondering if your husband is taking anti depressant type medication, & if not would this be something he is open to trying?

 

Does he have any hobbies or interests that you could research for him & encourage him to join eg. The men's shed.

 

I can't tell you how long this will last, or if he will return to his old self again one day. I can understand how hurtful it must be for you. Try to support him as much as you feel comfortable. It's important to also focus on your own needs, by doing things that support your own happiness, perhaps in time, hopefully he will come around.

 

I'm not sure if any of this is helpful. My best advice would be to take care of you!

Re: Depression.

Hi @CarolC

Welcome to the forums. It's nice to have you here. I'm really sorry to read what your husband is going through, and what you are also going through.

I have had depression on and off for much of my adult life but I did go through a very tough few months years ago when the depression was acute.  I wasn't `myself' for a while and it took me some time to get through it. What helped me was professional support and support from family and friends. I can only speak from my lived experience but it did take me a while to recover and feel strong again. 

I was wondering if you also have support? Being a support person / carer of someone going through something so challenging can be very difficult and lonely. I would encourage you to talk to your GP, family and/or friends as you need support as well.  This is a link to our carers support page which offers a lot of really useful information https://www.sane.org/spotlight-on/families-carers

I wish you and your husband all the very best during this difficult time. 

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather 

hanami
Senior Contributor

Re: Depression.

Hi there @CarolC 

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's depression and what effect this is having on you both. I'm wondering if he is still under the care of the mental health team or has he been discharged? I used to work for the public mental health system and often saw people being discharged when I thought perhaps they weren't ready to be simply because of the team being short-staffed. I'm hoping you say he is still under their care as it sounds like he still has a way to go on his recovery journey and needs the support of a good care team. 

 

Sending hugs

Hanami 💮

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