C-PTSD and Childhood Trauma

[Jynx]

@Captain24 yes this this this!! 

I hate the idea that we somehow are supposed to 'grow up' enough that we grow out of having needs. And especially when those needs went unmet during childhood - it's like, 'Oh you didn't receive enough unconditional love and support as a child? Well you should still just be completely able to function because your brain is older now.'

It's such BS. Our attachment needs don't just go away. We need the same things we needed as kids, and doubly so because of how long we've gone without. It truly is excrutiating it is to have those needs go unmet for so many years. 

[JAT]

@Jynx I wish people under The need for reassurance, not in an unhealthy way! But like you would if a child was learning to stand for the first time, the first day of school, when you fall over and hurt your knee. 

Our brains have been through a lot of different traumas and always seem to live to in fight or flight mode because we feel be stuck because our brains didn’t have the chance to develop and learn in a healthy and nurturing environment -  it’s excruciating.

We never had the chance to “enjoy” life growing up, in many different ways we were just trying to survive whatever our childhood contained, and now we fight to unpack it and seperate ourselves, from what happened to us and the future ahead that WE control. 

it’s a battle but with the right skills it’s definitely one worth fighting 🩷

Thanks for the tag @Shaz51 

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

I wish people realised the practical implications of having a traumatic childhood...

Licence, housing, job, relationships...

My go to coping tool is graded exposure...

Take going into shopping centres

- bulky jacket, big headphones, sunglasses and umbrella, in and out in 20 minutes

- gradually got rid of the personal protection equipment

- gradually increased the time

- now I just have a schedule (mainly to avoid school kids) and my ear hooks

[Patches59]

Yes, yes, yes!!   @JAT @Jynx 

The brains craving for reassurance, for acceptance, for love.  The brains adverse reaction to rejection, negativity, fear of some type of punishment.  

Childhood and teenage years stolen or destroyed.  Gaps in memories.  Trust in people destroyed and replaced with fear.  Going from being happy children to surviving through years of trauma to somehow expected to become happy, perfectly adjusted, self confident, self assured adults able to face anything.    It’s BS!!

[tyme]

Great thread @Jynx !

I think for me, I never realised the oppression I was under as a kid. It affected me, but I thought it was 'normal' because I never knew any better.

It wasn't until I was an adult that through therapy, I realised that my childhood wasn't so 'normal' as they say... and yes, it affected me severely as an adult 

Good news though, I've been able to work through a lot of it... but not all. There are still parts that have not been touched.

@Patches59 @avant-garde @JAT @Captain24 

[Shaz51]

Thank you  @Jynx , @Patches59 , @avant-garde , @JAT , @Captain24 , @Louie333 , @tyme

A great thread  

[The-red-centaur]

I wish people understood that trauma just doesn't happen as a kid. It's not like your 18 now, nothing bad will happen anymore.

DV often (not always) happens to those with child trauma. We never learnt better. I never learnt that what he was doing was abuse, I thought it was normal to be treated that way. 

[Patches59]

So true @The-red-centaur   

DV, workplace bullying, verbal abuse by others, taken advantage of by narcissistic  and / or gaslighting.   

it’s as if trauma that we have gone through somehow leaves us unable to detect these things or stop them happening.

for me, local doctor at the time called it as workplace bullying.  Few mths after getting away from that was befriended by 2 people, 1 a narcissist and The other gaslighter.  Took different periods of time for me to realise this.

[The-red-centaur]

@Patches59 i relate.

I saw no red flag from those who saw all the flags I had trauma and was an easy target. 

I blamed myself for it all. 

[hotmess]

gaps in memories .. no real timeline .. I don’t think I’ve ever really been able to name dates that things happened and still can’t - it’s like I have a calaender dysfunction.. time and me are not friends. 

but I’m still seeking diagnosis - this seems hard quite a few of the Pyske I’ve talked to won’t diagnose it’s like it’s out of fashion.. and while that’s a thing some tools and an understanding of the mechanics of my brain would be helpful.

also cronic trust issues, ocd about locking stuff (never safe ) and I am also a flame that attracts narcissists in droves.