Acceptance is hard work

[AuntGlow]

Gosh, I know - fulltime work is genuinely so challenging. I think we were made to spend so much more time connecting, creating, and enjoying our beautiful earth. @MissinTooth 

How wonderful! It sounds like you have done a lot of meaningful work throughout your career. What do you think could be next? That balance sounds perfect. I wonder how we can cultivate more of that in your current role? 

That's really great noticing of what's happening in your body. I am happy to see you are supporting your nervous system though soothing and grounding. I know things are feeling unsafe, but I can see that you're doing a great job of supporting yourself. 

Now, you know what I am going to ask... what does your heart have to say? ❤️

[MissinTooth]

@AuntGlow it's really sad that because of the way the economy is and the price of living, we have to work full time, just to survive. 

Honestly, I don't know what's next for me. I don't want to stay in teaching, but still want to work with children and teens. I...had plans, ideas, something bright and meaningful but it's just...not going to happen any more. I've kind of put that to bed....

Ahaha...my heart tonight is...beating loudly in my ears and it's grateful to have the forums with people here who care enough to help and support me. 

[AuntGlow]

Absolutely... I am hopeful for a time this may shift for all of us. We have so much more to bring to our work when our cups are full and our nervous systems are regulated! @MissinTooth 

I understand this. I am curious to know what those plans were, but I completely understand if you don't want to talk about it. ☺️

This is lovely, we are grateful to be able to support you! 

I am ending my shift now, but I will be here tomorrow. I hope you get some rest. 💛

[MissinTooth]

Good night @AuntGlow 

I'll pop this here for you tomorrow...

I wanted to start my own business. I wanted to run workshops and group sessions for older children and teenagers around finding positive pathways through their lives. I was going to work with them to build an understanding of connecting to self, to others and to the world around them, and to learn how to use their inner compass in a world and a media culture that tells them who and what they should be. 

I have my Creative Arts Therapist certification, my teaching experience and qualifications, and I'm working towards gaining qualifications in Child and Adolescent Mental Health.

I don't know think it's achievable for me any more though. Maybe it's all just a pipe dream now? 

[MissinTooth]

Good evening @AuntGlow hope you're well and have had a good day? 

[AuntGlow]

Good evening @MissinTooth! How are things feeling for you today? ✨

Umm, I don't think you understand how much I love this. My brain just shouted, 'YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!!!'

But, I understand if it may not feel like a safe venture in your body just yet, or if you have changed your mind. That is all okay and very much allowed. 

It really does seem like you have all the right skills, intentions, and most importantly, passion to do this though. 

What makes you feel like it's not achievable?  💛

[MissinTooth]

It's been a strange day @AuntGlow I've felt kinda...ambivalent most of the day. Tonight that's changed and I feel like my heart's beating out of my chest and I got kinda emotional at your question.

I haven't changed my mind. Not at all. That's the life and the career journey that I want for myself. 

It just feels like it's moved so far out of my reach...

I feel broken and lost and...disconnected, so how can I help others to find their way, to feel connected? I don't know whether I'm going to make it through my studies to get proper certification....

This idea of my future gave me hope...now, I don't know. 

And I don't have the supports around me that I had. I don't have belief in myself, in my ability to make it happen for myself. I had someone who believed in me and in my capacity to build it for myself - but I don't have that any more and I can't carry that for myself. 

[AuntGlow]

Hmm, I wonder if we can allow in and nurture these feelings? What do you think you need most right now? @MissinTooth 

I really, really resonate with this in so many ways. 💛

And I understand this perspective. To counteract it though... sometimes we can heal others (and ourselves) in the process of exploring things we are passionate about. I am definitely still in the process of working through things, but supporting others is always a healing for me as well. Does that make sense?

I get how hard it can be to believe in ourselves, and it must be so painful to have lost that person who brought you such a sense of hope. You're allowed to grieve this, to feel uncertain, all of it. 

But I do wonder if other people could help to connect you with that sense of hope? For example, I know for a fact that we all believe in you...🥰

[MissinTooth]

@AuntGlow it does make sense that supporting others is healing for you as well. I think I've seen other peer support workers say similar here. 

I wanted to acknowledge that I've read your reply, it's on my mind, but I'm struggling to find the words to respond. 

[MissinTooth]

@tyme 8 day Smiling Mind streak. How you going with it?