Acceptance is hard work

[MissinTooth]

@Alisse I think I've been searching for that kind of community. 

I actually...don't have it...currently. 

My family don't really support, nor do they believe in spirituality or even in being emotionally expressive. I used to get in trouble for both. 

And I have a horrible history of failed friendships. I've found and lost a lot of friendships and communities over the past few years. I have like...one friend at the moment who is a Reiki practitioner and a wonderfully supportive person. I am so very grateful to have her in my life. 

I just...community is something that I desperately want/need in my life, but something I've yet to find and have started to doubt that I will find it. 

[tyme]

You're right - Acceptance is damn hard work! @MissinTooth !

Have you heard of the concept of Radical acceptance? To accept the things you cannot change and work with the things you can change?

[MissinTooth]

@tyme Yeah, I've heard of it. I just had a bit of a laugh because...I know it. I just...have a hard time doing it. Especially when I get in my head. 

Thank you for the reminder. 

[tyme]

Totally @MissinTooth ! That's why we need each other!

How have things been for you this week?

My nibblings have gone back to school, but only a three day week.

[MissinTooth]

@tyme I appreciate you asking!

Things have been a little calmer this week. I've had the opportunity for some down time. I had to force the issue and actually force myself to stop and do it! Because it just didn't feel...right or natural. I couldn't even sit still for 30 seconds. It was actually a struggle to begin with but has gotten easier throughout the week. It's been nice in that regard. I even had a two hour nanna nap on the couch. The feeling of anxiousness has come in waves, instead of as a constant. 

I'm feeling it a little, as I start to mentally prepare to go back to work and back to study on Monday. I don't feel like I've had a break, to be honest. 

[tyme]

Hearing you @MissinTooth . And between work and study, I'm sure it doesn't feel like much of a break. From my own experience, while studying, I NEVER felt I had a break. There was always this subconscious stress. 

To be honest, I wonder if after you finish your studies, you'll feel more able to enjoy your work?

[MissinTooth]

@tyme I don't know. Me coming home and coming home to teach has been a journey. It's a long story and I have moments now where I've realized that I've actually started to like my job again. Those moments give me hope, because I know that deep down, my purpose is to teach. And I felt so...like a piece of wood drifting on the current, when I wasn't teaching. 

[tyme]

I'm sure there are many others who have found their love in teaching. 

I find that nursing and teaching are jobs you gotta love @MissinTooth 

Sounds like teaching and learning is your calling in life!

[MissinTooth]

@tyme thank you for chatting with me tonight. I appreciate it and It matters! 

I am going to call it a night. Good night. 

[grayhorn]

That sounds like the AA prayer, lotta wisdom there, …know what to accept and what to change.