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Something’s not right

LostAngel
Senior Contributor

The Overwhelming /anxious feeling that I need to leave

Hi everyone Ill just type out exactly what needs to be said hope you dont mind to start off with all in all today wasnt a bad day it was more of a weird day emotionally wise /Mood wise and reaction wise Smiley Embarassed firstly as soon as I woke up this morning I felt angry but didnt know why,then what felt like a mix of high blood preasure or frustration mixed with anger,even though I had eaten breakfast,next my driving all day was definetly eractic not calm which felt like anxiety brewing to the surface, a few near misses in just this morning things that I wouldnt have near misses with like not checking properly for safe gaps in traffic or at round abouts and turns,anyway later today I got Kfc for lunch and you geussed it was still driving around even though driving skills where poor at best as if emotions took over,feelings of anger and wanting to cry ,thoughts came up about you geussed it relationships with online date men well two in particular the last man I dated online whom I believe was not good for me mainly because of his manipulative nature and the second one whom is CareBear ,CareBear is my current online date who has been treating me well so far although I became suspicicious or overthinking of him last night which wasnt a good feeling but it is unwarranted to feel suspicious as he hasnt harmed me in any way I just got myself paronoid last night that he is somehow harming me or not to be trusted ok hope this makes sense so far as moving onto the next part of the day,I went to visit an aunt and Uncle with my Brothers today But during the Visit I abruptly decided I needed to leave and had to leave now and that it was best for me to leave suddenly from their house,possible anxiety attack or issues I have about possible rejection or of more or less me rejecting myself emotionally,rejecting my own emotional needs because it felt like the right thing to do at the time,so anyway I was talking to aunt and then her daughter came to visit as well and anyway for a while it was ok but then there was a few visitors at the house at once and a bit going on but it was more like I felt like I was emotionally in the way of others mainly my aunts daughters emotional needs being met as if by me being in the room I was stopping her emotional needs from being met at all but get this none made me feel unwelcome or like I should be leaving but it was more in my own head and thinking that I had to leave there and then cause I was in my mind causing issues just for being present in the first place it was pretty much me acting out my internal emotions outwardly but directed at myself as if I am literally a problem to family for being in the room even though thats not what they said or felt about me at all but I didnt believe them ,It was me thinking and feeling that I was literally the problem and that therefore I needed to remove myself from family today so we left very abruptly and probly a bit rudely cause I literally felt the the problem and had to remove myself from their home even though I felt bad for leaving in my anxcious thinking it was still the right thing to do for everyone even though they all wanted me to be there, I left,anxiety made me feel like I had to and should leave instead of spend time with my family

5 REPLIES 5

Re: The Overwhelming /anxious feeling that I need to leave

Hope talking about your feelings is helping you!

Re: The Overwhelming /anxious feeling that I need to leave

thank you @Truffles probly more so here on the forums by typing things out rather than speaking about them

Re: The Overwhelming /anxious feeling that I need to leave

I need to be told to shutup,my needs do not matter I and I alone have to meet my needs gosh Im a flunk cant even organise to date somone I like,at this rate how Im going to get married one day? as lond as everyone else is ok thats the main thing,cause everything bloody upsets me at once today,the tv being left on ,messages on my phone ,not eating at the correct times of day the house is a mess I feel overwhelmed over just trying to organise an in person first date ,Now Ive confused poor carebear as I call him seriously need to be alone and I need to be told by someone or anyone to just shutup bloody anxiety,over independance,responsibility,I feel as if I am literally the problem to myself and my needs and everyone elses needs needs me too much reacting but I cant help but react to things around me or in me ,thoughts of self doubt at flunking at one thing then feeling like a flunk in general seriously I need to shut upSmiley Mad

Re: The Overwhelming /anxious feeling that I need to leave

Hi there @LostAngel,

Sorry to hear you've had an upsetting day. It sounds like you're being harsh on yourself. I want you to know you are important and your needs matter. I hope you can give yourself some compassion at this time because everyone deserve it.

 

Take good care,

Sphinxly

Re: The Overwhelming /anxious feeling that I need to leave

Hi, I have experienced a similar thing. I related really well to your post. I always think that people don't want me there and that they're lying by telling me to stay. It's painful. I think people react to the emotions that I am feeling and putting out there. Sometimes people mistake my panic as rejection, selfishness or being unsocial and rude. If you can face your fears that has sometimes worked for me. Also, tell someone when it's happening. I've done that and when I'm not defensive it's turned out good.


@LostAngel wrote:

Hi everyone Ill just type out exactly what needs to be said hope you dont mind to start off with all in all today wasnt a bad day it was more of a weird day emotionally wise /Mood wise and reaction wise Smiley Embarassed firstly as soon as I woke up this morning I felt angry but didnt know why,then what felt like a mix of high blood preasure or frustration mixed with anger,even though I had eaten breakfast,next my driving all day was definetly eractic not calm which felt like anxiety brewing to the surface, a few near misses in just this morning things that I wouldnt have near misses with like not checking properly for safe gaps in traffic or at round abouts and turns,anyway later today I got Kfc for lunch and you geussed it was still driving around even though driving skills where poor at best as if emotions took over,feelings of anger and wanting to cry ,thoughts came up about you geussed it relationships with online date men well two in particular the last man I dated online whom I believe was not good for me mainly because of his manipulative nature and the second one whom is CareBear ,CareBear is my current online date who has been treating me well so far although I became suspicicious or overthinking of him last night which wasnt a good feeling but it is unwarranted to feel suspicious as he hasnt harmed me in any way I just got myself paronoid last night that he is somehow harming me or not to be trusted ok hope this makes sense so far as moving onto the next part of the day,I went to visit an aunt and Uncle with my Brothers today But during the Visit I abruptly decided I needed to leave and had to leave now and that it was best for me to leave suddenly from their house,possible anxiety attack or issues I have about possible rejection or of more or less me rejecting myself emotionally,rejecting my own emotional needs because it felt like the right thing to do at the time,so anyway I was talking to aunt and then her daughter came to visit as well and anyway for a while it was ok but then there was a few visitors at the house at once and a bit going on but it was more like I felt like I was emotionally in the way of others mainly my aunts daughters emotional needs being met as if by me being in the room I was stopping her emotional needs from being met at all but get this none made me feel unwelcome or like I should be leaving but it was more in my own head and thinking that I had to leave there and then cause I was in my mind causing issues just for being present in the first place it was pretty much me acting out my internal emotions outwardly but directed at myself as if I am literally a problem to family for being in the room even though thats not what they said or felt about me at all but I didnt believe them ,It was me thinking and feeling that I was literally the problem and that therefore I needed to remove myself from family today so we left very abruptly and probly a bit rudely cause I literally felt the the problem and had to remove myself from their home even though I felt bad for leaving in my anxcious thinking it was still the right thing to do for everyone even though they all wanted me to be there, I left,anxiety made me feel like I had to and should leave instead of spend time with my family


 

 

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