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24-02-2020 03:44 PM
24-02-2020 03:44 PM
Sexually dysfunctional post chronic abuse
I’m sexually dysfunctional, due to my extensive trauma history. I had no sexual arousal even when seeing complete nakedness during sex. I said I don’t understand what sex means as an adult. Every time when there’s sexual intimacy, I feel extreme humiliation all over again, as though the abuse was happening again. I was abused from age 1-24, suffered extreme sexual, physical and psychological ritual abuse. Plus, I always have the tendency to feel forced during sex, resembling rape, with my partner. The inclination to wanting to feel forced in everything sexual, was programmed by my past abusers. I couldn’t seem to be natural.
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24-02-2020 09:30 PM
24-02-2020 09:30 PM
Re: Sexually dysfunctional post chronic abuse
Welcome to the forums – I'm Eucalypt one of the moderators and I thought I'd post and say hi. I'm very sorry that you have experienced such abuse in your childhood and early adult life. Feeling safe and unforced in your relationship is important whatever your past is. This can sometimes be particularly tricky for people who've experienced sexual trauma and I'm sure that there will be other members who can relate to this aspect of your story.
I notice that you started another thread when you first joined up and that no-one had yet responded to you – I can imagine that might have been disappointing and confusing. I'm just going to send you an email about that earlier post in a moment if you can check your inbox some time.
Sometimes it's easier for new members to join a conversation that's already happening and many new members like to introduce themselves in this thread here. Another tip is to place an "@ " before a members name and they will then receive a notification. Hope that helps a bit.
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25-02-2020 06:26 AM
25-02-2020 06:26 AM
Re: Sexually dysfunctional post chronic abuse
You're not alone in experiencing difficulty with sex and intimacy after abuse. It's something I can relate to and something I hear many others working through also. Are you able to speak with your partner about what's going on for you and how you feel when it comes to sexual intimacy? Do you have professional supports to talk with?
It's good to see you here. It can be really hard to talk about things like this (I find at times). Keep talking if it helps.
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25-02-2020 12:17 PM
25-02-2020 12:17 PM
Re: Sexually dysfunctional post chronic abuse
I hope my partner understands. Yes. I'm seeing my new T today. This is my fourth one, as the three T before had issues with my dissociative identities. Two of them were not trained in treating dissociation, despite had expertise in complex trauma. One of them got confused about appointment bookings, as she didn't want multiple alters to do decision. But I had no ability to switch, which is undoable to her impossible request. This new T is trained and specialise in DID and RA. So I hope she can help.
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25-02-2020 06:35 PM
25-02-2020 06:35 PM
Re: Sexually dysfunctional post chronic abuse
If you feel like sharing how you went with your appointment today, I'm interested in hearing. Hope it was helpful for you.
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25-02-2020 06:44 PM
25-02-2020 06:44 PM
Re: Sexually dysfunctional post chronic abuse
Thanks. I've seen my T today. Told that there's a government funding for psychotherapy sessions for victims of crime and institutional abuse in Australia. I never got into that yet but was told that me and my T can work on it. I have majority of memory loss due to DID, so I'm not sure how to support my case perfectly when I'm very dissociative. I'm on disability pension at the moment though.