Rumination and unhelpful coping strategies. TW: Addictive tendencies

[rav3n]

hey @creative_writer i'm so sorry to hear your body feels uncomfy right now. we're here for you 💖
how can we support you tonight? 

[creative_writer]

@rav3n I think having someone around can make a difference. I know I am making progress and I'm able to be more productive during the day, but it comes slow. It's hard, I want to make progress faster, but improvements come slow

[rav3n]

wish i could keep ya company in real life, but at the least- i'm around till 8, so i can keep you virtual company 💖 @creative_writer 

i hear you, it's hard being patient and waiting for progress to become more visible. sometimes we're making progress but we don't even notice it till much later.

[creative_writer]

@rav3n I feel the forums are a great place, even if it’s virtual. Don’t know how to find a safe place like this in real life. Maybe anonymity makes a difference.

Being patient is hard, maybe I need to give it more time. Healing is hard, it hurts. The avoidance probably keeps me stuck, I can’t keep avoiding. It’s hard, avoidance is what I’ve known

[rav3n]

i never thought i'd find a safe space/safe people to be around... but i eventually found them @creative_writer i truly believe you'll find yours too. it does take lots of effort in putting yourself out there (which was soooo hard for me cos i don't deal with rejection too well) but it is worth it in the long run. 

that's the tough part about social anxiety and trauma, hey. the avoidance is almost like our safety mechanism, and it's hard to go against it. you can always start small and slow though. is there anything small that you'd like to try this month? sometimes that's slightly out of your comfort zone to help practice fighting the avoidance?

[creative_writer]

@rav3n finding safe people is hard, my psych wants me to attend more social events. I'm going to a virtual social event on zoom tomorrow and have something on for Sunday in person. More scared about the in person event, I can easily hide away on zoom. I don't need to have my camera on and I don't have to say much. I also avoid emotions, but I am slowly learning to sit with the discomfort.

I know you are logging off right now. I hope you have a chill evening, will see you when you are on again ❤️

[creative_writer]

I am so drained and exhausted, didn't sleep well last night. I've had so much adrenaline pumping in my system, I did too many things even though I know I am not feeling well. I am migrainey and my face feels congested and clogged. I just don't know how to rest and slow down

[creative_writer]

My GP gave me some antibiotics for the congestion, he think it might be a sinus infection. I still have a lot of adrenaline pumping in my system, it’s so hard to relax. Maybe it’s mania trying to make its ways, but it’s the dysphoric type

[rav3n]

hey @creative_writer how'd the zoom social event go for you? i hear you, real life interactions can be exhausting. i like have a lil 'escape' plan ready (which is usually just hiding in the bathroom or car if things get too much), do you have one of those too? got my fingers crossed that the Sunday event will go well 💙

also hearing that the migraines been playing up and it's been a draining day for you. hope you feel better soon 💙

[creative_writer]

@rav3n I still have to attend the zoom social event this evening, it’s from 7-9pm, not sure if I’ll stay the whole time.

I will probably need to take a prayer break in between the event. I won’t be going by car, so I suppose the other option is the bathroom.

I think the sinus and migraine pain sort of feed off each other. Hopefully I’ll start feeling better once I start taking meds