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Something’s not right

Eden1919
Senior Contributor

Problems with new psychologist.

I am having a bit of an issue with my new psychologist and I am not sure what to do. I don’t think she means badly but she keeps getting frustrated with me and it really isn’t helpful. Firstly I have a lot of trouble trusting professionals which I have tried to explain to her but she either doesn’t understand or doesn’t think it applies to her. Secondly last time I saw her she was getting annoyed because I wasn’t telling her something and kept saying ‘ I can’t tell you anything because I don’t know what you are talking about’ which is annoying for two reasons, 1 she doesn’t need to know right now, 2 I wasn’t looking for advice on the matter. This issue is something I CANNOT tell her ever and I told her I can’t tell her and she kept saying I should write it down but it doesn’t matter the delivery method I still can’t tell her. I can’t tell anyone for that matter and it is not something that can be fixed either all I wanted was for her to understand that I was feeling extremely trapped and tired because I am constantly having to do certain things. 

 

I know she meant well but she doesn’t seem to believe me when I say things. Like when I tell her something cannot be fixed. I don’t say it because I have never tried I only say that when I have been trying for at least over 10 years and when I know the only options available to fix that issue make it worse. I don’t say things flippantly and I am not being negative just practical. But she keep saying things as if she thinks I am just being pessimistic but I am not upset about it just tired. I know it can take time to get to know someone but I need her to let me take my time because there is a lot she doesn’t know and I don’t expect her to but I do except she is respectful of the fact that she doesn’t know and therefore won’t try to push so much without all the information. But idk what to say to her. 

6 REPLIES 6

Re: Problems with new psychologist.

Hey @Eden1919 , just wondering if you could copy and paste that post to give to her. It says pretty much how you are feeling. It’s not blaming her and has some empathy towards her caring but not understanding. It’s just a thought. 

Re: Problems with new psychologist.

@Teej  I have told her all of the things I have said on here before some of them more than once but she still gets annoyed if I try and talk about something but dont say everything even if i tell her why I am not talking about it fully. it is like she doesnt believe me. like she says some things as if she does but then she will still get annoyed when things dont go in a way that is easy for her. she knows why i dont trust professionals and she knows that I dont say things just for the sake of it but she still for some reason seems to expect that those things dont apply to her as well. for example i will say something like " this isnt going to get any better for me" and she will say "yes these things take a long time sometimes" and i will reply "no i mean this is as good as it gets it wont get any better/easier" and she will say "yes some people take their whole lives to find recovery" but she is still missing the point that it isnt going to ever get that far like she is being dismissive and validating at the same time and it is really frustrating for me. maybe she doesnt know what to say or she is trying to be positive but i am not saying these things because I have given up I am saying that because I have accepted a certain level of difficulty and am trying to work around it (which i have also told her is the case). I just want her to listen and not talk to me as if i havent been dealing with this my whole life and dont know how things are for me. 

Re: Problems with new psychologist.

Hey @Eden1919  as with @Teej the notion of copying and pasting this and sharing it with her, if you feel comfortable to do so - could be super helpful 🙂 Remember mental health practitioners are trained to be able to hold space for clients anger and allow them to be frustrated and explain that the therapy itself is a source of anxiety. I have felt this myself with a psych in the past, so really feel for you. I found it really helpful to tell her my frustrations there, I think it is okay you need time with her and I also think it is okay you feel frustrated, I just hope you feel comfortable enough to communicate how you're feeling with her Heart 

 

It's totally fine to let her know exactly as you said -  "I just want you to listen and not talk to me as if i havent been dealing with this my whole life and dont know how things are for me. "

We're here to listen along the way too Heart

Re: Problems with new psychologist.

@nashy  but she doesnt accept me telling her something unless she knows why and even if she says she is ok with not knowing she will keep asking questions about it like one time i worte her a note that EXPRESSLY said DONT ask me about X ever and the first thing she asked after reading the note was about X! she just doesnt get that i cannot explain certain things to her. 

Re: Problems with new psychologist.

Hey @Eden1919 

sorry I dropped out. I’ve had my own mh issues to deal with. I think it must be super frustrating after reading the example you wrote. I have times where I stop and won’t tell my psych something. She says it’s super frustrating for her but she goes with it and usually lets it go. 

 

Have you ever tried to take in agenda of things you want to talk about in therapy so there are some kind of boundaries around the session. You may have. It’s the one thing that’s helped me lots this year in my appointments. 

Re: Problems with new psychologist.

@Teej  yes i tried that too she honestly just ignores my wishes and does what she wants anyway but i dont have the energy to wait for another one maybe i just have to yell at her. 

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