Lived Experience Forum

[Serenity1]

Hi @Gazza75 my post got deleted so I didn't get to read your response. I just got a notification & the post & your comment was gone missing.

No email with explanation. Nothing 

Geussing i said something I shouldn't have.which is frustrating because I was not intending to say anything innapropriate just my thoughts on  facts & things I had witnessed. 

I really needed the advice & help so I am upset. Thanks anyway!

[Gazza75]

Hi @Serenity1 ,

I'm sorry about your post normally you will get an email and they will highlight parts of that they didn't like.  It's happened to me before.  My answer was brief as i thought you would be leaving to take your daughter soon.  I suggested you try and see the teacher rather than go the office orrincipal.  I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with a situation like your in.  I don't think there's a perfect way of handling what you are going through.  I'm so sorry to hear your daughter has ongoing issues with bullies.  Maybe you can talk to other parents to see if they would be comfortable in backing you up with some of this.

Wishing you well, take care.  

[Amour_Et_Psyché]

Hi @Serenity1 ,

I am incredibly sorry that you did not receive my initial email around your post being temporarily removed. It is completely understandable that you would feel frustrated that your post, and @Gazza75's reply, went down - especially, given you really need support in regards to your daughter's situation at school. I imagine not receiving the email we sent about why this happened would have only exacerbated the situation. I am truly sorry for the distress this has caused you, @Serenity1.

I have re-sent my previous email, so that you may gain understanding of why the post was removed and, thereby, re-post. If you are still not receiving our emails, please give myself or a Community Manager a shout-out on this thread, so we can identify if there are any technical issues underpinning this problem.

Again, I'm so sorry for any distress this may have caused you.

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

[CheerBear]

Hi @Serenity1. I've been wondering how you and your little have been getting on. Going by the title of this discussion I am guessing it isn't so well 🙁 Sorry to hear that. I hope you can edit your original post to share what's going on if that's what you'd like to do and if it could help you. Thinking of you ❤

[Serenity1]

Thankyou so much @Gazza75 you are so kind to reply twice-I really appreciate it - & sorry I didn't get a chance to reply back yesterday as I kept my daughter home for the day until I got a chance to speak with the teacher , which I did after school.
It went well or so I thought at the time- but then last night I woke with insomnia & kept replaying the teachers words & I started to get annoyed at what she had said - things like:
It's not bullying if it only happens ONCE-& she even showed me a chart that she had printed out which said: ONCE it's rude, TWICE its mean, THREE times its bullying--:face_with_rolling_eyes: It was PHYSICAL INJURY from a child to my daughter -it happened repeatedly ( more than once) during the sports activities lesson that day- I do NOT care if it only happened ONCE - it should NOT even happen ONCE !! It should NOT happen AT ALL!! &
She kept making a point of saying " I don't know if it's bullying - but for the purpose of this conversation we will call it bullying"- she said that numerous times!! Even though I told her the verbal bullying has been going on for a long time to my daughter & others & my daughter has said she & everyone is to scared to tell the teacher because they fear it will get worse:face_with_rolling_eyes:
Teacher also said that she DID NOT DIRECTLY ask this student if she had been physically hurting another child - she deliberately did not directly ask her or tell her another child's parent has said she injured my child- she in a roundabout way said " IV noticed you have been a little bit rough lately"- THA F ???which is B.S. & means the child is not held accountable for her actions & just a complete & utter joke:face_with_rolling_eyes:
She also said " oh the girl cried" at least three times to myself- which I believe she was trying to get me to have sympathy & feel sorry for her- she told me she has a difficult life & went into detail a bit- & she told me at least three times also that "she can be really sweet"- which I agreed" yes IV seen her be sweet" stupidly I think I was in shock& I don't handle confrontation well-but that is all irrelevant - she should NOT be injuring other children! :face_with_rolling_eyes:
She then flipped it & made a big deal about how my daughter did not tell the MALE sports teacher immediately when it happened & kept repeating & focusing on the fact my child needs to tell the teacher immediately for them to be able to do something about it- which is B.S. :face_with_rolling_eyes: She was more focused on that fact , than the fact my daughter was hurt repeatedly , & she topped it all off by saying my daughter picks up on my anxiety & I need to remain calm-( which I actually was remaining calm the entire conversation )- so I am not sure why that was necessary for her to say or what that even had to do with anything. :face_with_rolling_eyes: I sat there and let her say all this to me and agreed with everything she said because I did not want to cause a problem between her & I for my daughters sake & because I am traumatised by the actions of her previous school in the way they handled her bullying situation ( did not believe us , said my child was lying. Etc)-but later when I thought about it I realised just how badly the situation was handled & now I feel really disapointed in myself that I did not stick up for my daughter -
I already knew they were going to treat this child ( the bully) leniently -- because I had already seen her being treated differently to the entire rest of the class & getting away with all types of crazy & disruptive behaviour that if other children did they would be reprimanded for. I am really upset at the teachers response- I would have thought PHYSICALLY HURTING other children would have been dealt with harshly - at least my daughter & I was believed this time!!
Thanks again for your support!! It means a lot 😊💖

[Serenity1]

Thanks so much! @Amour_Et_Psyche not gonna lie it did make things a lot harder, but I understand that it was not intentional -- thanks for your support! 💖

[Serenity1]

Hi @CheerBear Thankyou for your kind thoughts- I hope you are going well?
Actually everything was amazing up until this point when the girl had repeatedly physically hurt my daughter yesterday for no apparent reason - although she had been being mean & a verbal bully to my daughter & pretty much everyone else in the class - we were tolerating it because the impact it was having was not as severe compared to previous school & I wanted to keep things on good terms if I could- I will try & edit the original post - thanks so much for your support! I really appreciate it! 💖

[Gazza75]

Hi @Serenity1 ,

It sounds like you had a rough night dealing with the aftermath of your discussions with the teacher.  It seems to me that even one time is to much bullying, but, as you said it wasn't just the one time, it was repeated through the day on numerous occasions.  As for the reporting it to the male teacher, surely she could understand this would be diffucult for your daughter to do.  She is 7, not 17!  

I really do feel for your frustrations at the teacher and I think you did a good job to remain calm and level headed throughout the conversation.  I think its a bit cowardly of her not to ask the student in question and/or the parents about what has been going on.  Maybe you can keep an eye out for the male sports techer and have a word to him about what's been going on and ask him to be more vigilant in watching the girl in question along with your daughter.  Explain to him that she has already been bullied and that another case of it is going to be particularly traumatic for her (and you).

Don't be too disapointed or hard on yourelf, I think you have done a good job with it all.  It would be so diffucult to keep cool when your daughter is going through so much at such a young age. 

Be mindful of getting enough sleep. I know it must be hard with a zillion things going through your mind.  Don't let it add up as your thinking will become clouded.  I made that mistake and it led to a stay in a mental health unit.

I hope the girl in question doesn't continue to get special treatment.  It's not going to help her or anyone else in the long run.  Your welcome for the support @Serenity1 .  You are an amazing and caring mum and your daughter is lucky to have you watching out for her.  Take care.  

[CheerBear]

Hey @Serenity1. I'm sorry to hear you've both had another really tough situation to deal with at school. At some point my kids have all been hurt by another kid. My instinct is to protect them and it can be a very strong, sudden, difficult to control response inside me. I would have found it really difficult to sit through that conversation with the teacher while I was feeling it all and, as Gazza said, it's great you were able to keep calm while it was happening.

I am glad to hear that up until now everything has been amazing. From memory you had a very hard time making the decision to move schools but it sounds like it was a great choice in the end. With everything you've both been through I can see how you would want to be trying to keep it on good terms there which would make it extra hard when something like this is happening I imagine.

How was your daughter yesterday? And how are you feeling about it all today?

Big hugs Jojo. It's tough to see our kids hurt and would be really tough with the history you both have.

❤

[Serenity1]

Aw thanks so much @CheerBear & sorry 4 late reply it seems I'm not getting notifications now so I apologise - Thankyou for your kindness & support - it is really appreciated 💖 Yes it is so hard with everything we have been through at the old school which almost led to me having a breakdown as a result! I definitely want to avoid a situation like that again ! My daughter seems ok now she told me she is not scared of the girl anymore because she got in trouble- she did not think she would get in trouble or even get spoken to , because she has seen how the teacher has given this girl special treatment (& she was kind of right about that too)- but now she has "got in trouble " by the teacher I think she feels safer if it ever happens again it will be dealt with & so hopefully fingers crossed it won't happen again.
Thanks for your kindness & sorry to hear of your children being hurt also- it is unbearable & so hard to remain cool & level headed-Thankyou again 💖