Lived Experience Forum

[Nay69]

I have a daughter self harming and a husband that hates me. 

I can’t find a way out of this right now. 

I know this sounds trivial but I am not going very well right now 

[greenpea]

@Nay69  Hi Nay69 sorry to hear that you are going through such a bad time atm. Do you have family or friends that you can talk to? what about your trusted family gp? He/she will be able to help both you and your daughter by referring you both onto professionals trained to deal with these kinds of problems.

It is really hard when our children are in pain and express their pain through hurting themselves. There is always light at the end of the tunnel though and I am sure with your obvious love for her your daughter will see that.

As for your husband. I am sure he doesn't hate you. You always seem a very kind and nice person on the forum. Maybe marriage counselling if it has gone that far ....

I hope what I have said helps even just a bit. Love greenpea xxx

[Nay69]

Hi @greenpea

Thanks so much for reaching out to me. My beautiful girl has gone to a friends place for a sleepover tonight so that she istays out of everything.
I don’t want her to be involved.
I am just truly sad that I have done everything I can to keep our marriage going but I feel like I have failed.

[greenpea]

@Nay69  you definately haven't failed. You are a caring mum of your beautiful daughter that is not a failure. I feel your pain and have tears in my eyes as I am divorced and it was not a pretty divorce either mainly due to my mi and my ex's lack of understanding at that time. He regrets what he put me through now though .... it is water under the bridge now.

Nay69 I cannot give advice re marriage but take good care of yourself. Your daughter needs mum to be well and you have to be well for you. Sitting with you greenpeaxx

[Nay69]

Just been on the phone with lifeline and they dismissed me. It hurts to think that I cannot turn to these people. At least I have you 🌹

[greenpea]

@Nay69  Hi Nay69 just checking in on you today. Hoping that you are feeling a bit better 🙂 . Love greenpea xxx

[frog]

@Nay69 I'm sorry it's so hard. It must be exhausting trying to hold everything together. Please take time for self care. You deserve it, you are not a failure, and it's necessary to look after yourself. Wishing you some peace today.

[Nay69]

Hi @greenpea 

I am sorry for not being here but things are not getting better and I feel like I am drowning .

The problem is that I can’t talk to my husband about our daughter because he just explodes with anger and I don’t want my little girl to be subjected to this.

Looking at the clock last night I fell asleep watching a movie with him and I was yelled at for doing so. Never mind that I had been running around all day doing not only my job but everything else that is taken for granted by him...

 I am yet to hear a simple Thank You for anything lately, I just get yelled at and have him screaming at me that I don’t do anything, I don’t come to bed, etc...

It’s breaking me 😟🌹

[Nay69]

Thanks so much @frog

I haven’t forgotten you 🌹

[greenpea]

@Nay69  Oh Nay69  I wish I was there with you to give him a piece of my mind! that is no way to treat your partner and mother of your beautiful daughter. It must be so hard for you. My father used to be a screamer and used to throw things at us when he was in a temper. It was awful. It made me so angry particularly as a teenager. Part of the reason I rebelled so much as a teenager was because of my father.

I used to be angry with my mother for not leaving him but as I see now it was difficult financially back then to do. So we were all stuck there coping with his temper tantrums and moodiness.

He has been dead now for nearly 20 years and my mother has been able to live her life independently and in peace ever since he has passed. 

My mother was in her 60s when he finally died .... I am not going to tell you what to do as it is your life and you are an intelligent, caring woman but one thing I would say being the child in a dysfunctional household and seeing my mother miserable for years is don't leave it as long as my mother. Love greenpea xxxx