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Guiding_Light
Senior Contributor

Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

Greetings brothers and sisters of Humanity

I acknowledge that some of you reading this are going through the rough seas, that some of you may be on the very last thread, and the thoughts of suicide on the surface may seem like a very reasonable option considering the circumstances and situation you find yourselves in, however, before you choose to take any irreversible action, please read this post.

Many of us on these forums know your pain, and many of us here are survivors of the same things you face.
I am one who has lived experience of the journey, a journey which is not found in books, nor is it taught in schools or understood by those coming solely from an academic background, there is no degree or qualification to match lived experience and I hope that what I have to share will help you to navigate the way out from the storm.

I speak from a place of lived experience from the darkest hells to the highest heavens, experience of suicidal thoughts emotions behaviours and how to overcome them.
Experience of overcoming and curing severe depression, fear, anxiety, and diagnosis/labels stuck on by psychs such as bipolar, schizophrenia, schizo-affective and the many labels that I would not let them put on me.
Experience of ultimate transformation to experience natural bliss joy and ecstacy, to take the spirtual path of true awakening.

I have found the cure for mental illness, and I am willing to share freely with those who need my service, who are willing to listen.

On today’s menu: Suicidal thoughts emotions and behaviours and how to overcome them.

With awareness of neuro-plasticity we know that we can transform our minds to work with us rather than against us, to re-program our own minds and put ourselves back in the driver seat of our lives.

Suicidal thoughts, emotions and behaviours can all be overcome and prevented.
You need to recognise that you are not your thoughts, this character creating the drama, the story of "me" creating the suffering, if you want to overcome suicidal thoughts emotions and behaviours, then that's the one that needs to be investigated and that's the one that needs to "die", NOT YOU.

Overcoming suicide is not about leaving the body but rather, it is about overcoming the "self" that causes the drama and suffering in the first place.

It's an ironic paradox, that we give ourselves the answer when we tell ourselves "I want to ___ myself" and that’s precisely what we need to do is to overcome the "self" / character saying those things.
To enquire and question into them, "to whom has this thought arisen?" (self-enquiry meditation) from an audience perspective, to distance ourselves from the little "me" which is a personality construct we have picked up, accumulated and created over time.

No-one is born suicidal, it's something we picked up, a character we are playing for a little while on the stage of life,

It's healthy to view the suicidal character as a kind of costume we're trying on, and that's ok, as Shakespeare said "all the worlds a stage".
This unconsciously created sense of "me" is not who we really are though this suicidal character, we are witness to it.

We saw it all, the name we were given, the likes, the dislikes, persona, personality construct, the happy, the sad, the angry, the loving, all of them, costumes, masks that we picked up from the world on our journey, a coming and going of faces, we have been witness to all of them, but we aren't a coming and going like them, we’ve always been here we watched the whole show, so who are we? (look into self enquiry meditation).

Please, dear one,
understand that y
ou are needed, and you are worthy, otherwise you wouldn't be here. You are a part of creation, made out of divine material, LITERALLY the same material as stars, a valued brother or sister of the Human family, the Galactic family, and the Universal family and I care about you because you are my family.

You are rarer than the rarest of gems, you are infinitely unique and what you have to bring to the table is infinitely unique, you are a priceless jewel of which no price for your life can be made and You are worthy of your life or it would not have been granted and given to you.
I want you to know and understand that you are a gift to the world.

You are a unique expression of creation, this being that you are, this form that you are has never been before, and it will never come again and that alone is worth living for, that alone is precious and valuable, because you are irreplaceable.

I need to clarify that this isn't about self-worth or self-esteem or self-confidence, it is about the awareness of what is already here and who we really are; This is about becoming Self-less.
Self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence can be dangerous investments, false investments because the self itself is not the value, it is an artificial construct, what I am referring to when I speak about value and worthiness is about our unique cosmic blueprint and expression of creation that we naturally are, not the personality construct of "Self" of "me" with likes and dislikes etc which was picked up and programmed into us.

You are going through a process of transformation, it is similar in nature to the caterpillar becoming a butterfly, and no caterpillar ever became a butterfly without the darkness and uncertainty of the cocoon first.

So please know that no storm lasts forever.

"Easier said than done" says who?
If you hear that saying, then this character too needs to be dealt with too, to whom has this thought arisen?, it's only an opinion that is picked up from society, another mask as previously stated, it's not entirely true, in fact it's a lie and I can prove it in yet another way, because the distance between change is only a couple of neurons and the neurons of the brain are faster than speech, so it’s actually easier done than said.

We cannot force a Butterfly from it's Cocoon before it's time, so be gentle with yourself, this transformation will take as long as it needs to.

Ok, so we made some mistakes in the past?, we messed up, things got shitty, perhaps we lost everything, but so what, each rung on the ladder was part of the journey and you will look back on this time in years to come as another rung on the ladder, and you will be glad you chose not to leave the body.
I'm even grateful now for all the suffering I went through, for every rung on the ladder that got me to where I am now, no matter how dark they were, they all contributed to my transformation and awakening and it was all worth it.

Some old sayings are good and helpful towards a stronger and clearer mind, they are tools to aid and assist our transformation,
I'm sure you've all heard the saying "There's no point in crying over spilt milk", envision this now: you have a cup of your favourite beverage, you get bumped, now watch it in your minds eye spill onto the floor, it's done, see it on the floor? It can't be undone, so any emotion and drama about that is pointless.

You have the ability to make peace with the past because
it got us to where we are now, reading this, we can't change the past, and no amount of thinking can ever change that, it's something that we all must accept, however we can change how we view it, it was all part of the journey, rungs on the ladder, stepping stones upon the flowing river stream but it doesn't mean it has to be our present or future.

When we are learning to walk and we fall over, we don't just stay on the ground and give up do we? We get ourself off the floor, dust ourselves off, and try again until we can.

Some of us may not see a path or purpose for living just yet but that's just because we are temporarily experiencing the fog and that's ok, that’s a valid experience too, so be ok with the fog, it's part of the process, be ok with the cocoon, be ok with the darkness and soon;

The splendid glory of the sun will rise again and cast it's light upon you,
and you will know true peace within you, your heart will be cleansed from all troubles, turmoil and disharmony; all suffering be gone.

You will be free again, to dance as a delicate blossom gracefully dances upon the warm and gentle spring breeze,
The gentleness of nature will warm your heart again, it hears you, it knows you, breathe, listen, connect, take your time, it's ok dear one, you are heard.

Again, We cannot force a Butterfly from it's Cocoon before it's time, be gentle with yourself, this transformation will take as long as it needs to.
Your story and where you are now is part of the journey to get you to where you need to go, its a stepping stone to overcome.

Your current situation is only the result and product of your past thoughts emotions and behaviours, it doesn't mean your reality is stuck that way.
The present moment is always a life saver out of any troubles because the past and future don't exist right now, they only exist in the mind as memory and imagination, the present moment is always a blank canvas to paint what we want.

Being present isn't something that takes effort, or an action that we "do" because there is no other time, more awareness of presence is acquired by letting go of past and future oriented mind.
Fear and anxiety arises because of a future oriented mind, its always about what might happen rather than what is happening.
Depression is always connected to the constructed personality, the identity of “me”, it is memory, and sometimes how that construction of past “me” relates to false perceptions of present and imaginary projections of “future”,
the reason you suffer is because you are identified with past and future which are both non-existential, they only exist in the mind as memory and imagination.

If, after everything I have said here, you're still waking up every day only wanting to die as I was, then you could also try this, as I did, to challenging those voices, by jumping out an Aeroplane, that is, to go skydiving, that way you will be faced with a very real life/death situation not knowing if the parachute will pull or not, and if you are happy to have your feet on the ground at the end of it, then you know you want to live and it can help to put the mind at ease if they rise again, you can remind yourself that you've already been through it and decided that you want to live and eventually they will have no power over you and cease all together.

What you face right now is only temporary,
This mountain doesn't have to be as big as what your mind has made it out to be, and you may be surprised how strong and capable you really are once you CHOOSE to get back in the driver seat of your life.

Please know,
No storm lasts forever and you are going through a transformational period,

There is a reason and purpose for all of it, even if you can't see it yet.
You will get through this if you give yourself a chance, and choose to allow yourself to do so.

It is the pressure upon a piece of Coal which turns it into a Diamond, and when you get through all of this you will be even stronger.

Stay safe, stay strong,
Breathe, everything will be ok.

Peace,
Namaskaram,

Guiding_Light

19 REPLIES 19

Re: Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

thanks for your beautiful post. A real gift to anyone. I love all your analogies - the spilt milk and and the diamond made from pressure on coal. It's so wondserful that you have learnt the skill to accept strong negative emotions and are willing to share your wisdom.

Thank you truly,

Wanda

 

Re: Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

Thanks for writing this @Guiding_Light  - I will have to read it again and probably again to take it all in but I will and add my thoughts here

 

I am a survivor of suicide - decades ago now my teenage son took his own life and although I can see that he was scatter-brained and never really knew how permanent death is and was determined to complete the act - in reality he had no idea about what he was doing

 

It's so often impossible to convince a suicidal person that they are worthy to be here - they are locked in the cocoon stage of development and cannot accept what is told to them in all honesty that they are valuable to "us" - whomever we are - family - friends - people who haven't been born yet and that person may have something brilliant to contribute to society but if they die no one will ever know

 

I really believe is building up people's sef-esteem, self-respect, self-love and telling them they are needing to be their own best friend - so I am really pleased that you have started this thread

 

I don't know how to convince people that they have a choice to improve their image of themselves - maybe you have given me a start - and I will dwell on this for now -

 

Thank you so much

 

Dec 

Re: Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

Thanks for this post @Guiding_Light .

 

I'm suicidal and feel more suicidal lately, and more depressed, etc. 

 

I guess the forum and world would be better off without me. And yes I'm safe.

Re: Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

Hello @Former-Member 
This character, this voice you have, these kinds of thoughts and ideas that you have,
the one saying this:- "I guess the forum and world would be better off without me."

It is just the kind of example of what i'm talking about in the post, it is precisely the kind of identity i'm talking about that needs to be overcome and seen from a distance, because it's not you, you can choose to stop buying into.
ask it - "to whom has this thought arisen?"
Please read the initial post, all the necessary information to navigate this is contained within the first post of this thread.

Stay safe.
Namaskaram

Guiding_Light

Re: Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

@Guiding_Light I did read your first comment on this post, thanks. But it is true unfortunately.

 

I'm sorry you've dealt with a lot yourself

Re: Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

Thank you @Owlunar 
For taking the time post here, i'm sorry to hear about your son, indeed it's a loss for all of us.

I feel that all suicide can be prevented because it's only a matter of mental programming,
the truth of our "value" and "worthiness" of our existence, is not taught in schools, but it could be, just as I have stated the facts and reasons worth living for in the post.
If it was taught in schools then there would be no quarrels in the minds of teenagers facing such thoughts because they would be naturally aware of thier life as something worthwhile living.

I need to clarify that this isn't about self-worth or self-esteem or self-confidence, it is about the awareness of what is already here, This is more about becoming Self-less.
Self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence can be dangerous investments, false investments because the self itself is not the value, it is an artificial construct, what I am referring to when I speak about value and worthiness is about our unique cosmic blueprint and expression of creation that we naturally are, not the personality construct of "Self" of "me" with likes and dislikes etc which was all programmed into us.

Some English words can be challenging in translation such as the word "self" I know, though I hope that helps provide some more clarity.
So thanks for bringing that to my attention, I will edit and add that to the original post.

As far as awareness about choice, to bring them into the present moment is always a good reminder, because with every given moment we have a choice out of all the options available to us, to choose the reality we prefer, at the beginning many will initially bring thier whole constructed self into the present thinking that they are present, but it is not presence, being present means there is no past self distorting the present, no baggage, no story, no dramas and that choice is always available, because the present moment isn't going anywhere it is only our minds that may go elsewhere.

Namaskaram,

Guiding_Light

Re: Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

@Guiding_Light I feel like doing something stupid. It really is true that the world and the forums would  be better off without me. Yes I read all of your first comment on this post.

 

I'm sorry you and others have dealt with a lot too but like I said I think it would be best if I just leave here

 

Re: Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

@Former-Member 
It's only true if you believe it,
you are always free to believe what you want.

If you feel that it is in your best interest and for your wellbeing to not be on the forums,
then you do what is right for you, however if you are refering to leaving your body and doing something "stupid" as you say then you already know it's stupid, and there's no need to further entertain those thoughts,
It's good having you here, and it would be sad to see you go.

I get the sense you may be experiencing an emptiness? an insufficiency?, of starvation, needing to be fed emotionally, I went through that too, but it can't be extracted from others, it has to come from within us, the only way out is in.
True Happiness comes from within us, not because of anything or anyone else, it comes naturally when we stop holding onto thoughts and identities that make us unhappy, i.e "you need something to be unhappy, you need nothing to be happy".

Responsibility is important, to own our story, only then can we direct it the way we prefer and to make life what we want it.

Namaskaram,

Guidling_Light

Re: Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this.

@Guiding_Light it just seems like whatever I do and say on here and as hard as I try to support people on any part of the forums, I'm always criticised. This makes me feel like an awful person and more suicidal.

 

I should just go and not come back

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